Love, High-On! | | JJK

06

I think I'm God's least favorite child. Is that because I don't believe in him?
Why would he do this to me? My life could have been anyone's perfect ideal life but heavens had differnt plans for me.

This was insane. Having to spend two hours of my life every day with this guy was insane.

"Why seven?" A nervous chuckle slipped from my lips as I rubbed my palms over the fabric of my jeans.
He leaned over the desk, his eyes lingering over me for a long moment. I shifted on my place feeling soft caress over my skin on every area where his eyes travelled. I parted my lips but nothing came out from my lips. His gaze was slowly burning my skin and it felt....strange, in a good way.

"You see." He clasps his hands together. "Your brother loves you so much. He wants me to be your personal therapist." His gaze shifted from me but I still felt the burns all over my skin. I picked up the glass of water gulping it down in one go. I was drinking too much water today. Maybe because it's so hot today. I scratched my nape just wanting to go away from here. Away. So far away where he can't see me because I don't know what will happen if he keeps staring at me like a hawk for longer.

"That's unfair." I muttered circling my hands over my knees. "We start tomorrow, then." It wasn't a question. And even if it was I didn't have another option rather than to just listen to him. I didn't reply him with anything so he stood up removing his coat. I pretended not to look at him but I took notice of every muscle that flexed when he took off his coat.

I sucked in a sharp breathe. My lungs forgetting to use the oxygen. Under his white coat he wore a white shirt that was sticking to his skin. I could see his muscles through the fabric.

He was big, puffed and not... Nerdy.

Just like I said. There was nothing sweet about him. He walked towards me. I didn't look up until he was standing right beside me. "Come." He commanded while picking up his phone and wallet from the desk. I blinked my eyes in confusion. My heart hitting against my chest like a hammer.

Come.

When was it when I had sex last time? Was it too long ago? Is that why my brain is playing tricks on me?

Right! That is it. I needed to have a good fuck and maybe I need to purchase a new clean brain. "I'll drop you to your place. It's late." He glanced at his watch swiping a hand over his hair.

He wasn't a nerd.

I take my words from earlier back. I be damned to even think this man could be a nerd.

Even if he was, he was a hot one.

His hair fell on his forehead gracefully. From where do we purchase those perfect hair? "Stop making it so obvious that you can't get over my beauty." He retarded cockily. I looked away laughing crazily over his remark. My laugh was so loud that it sounded fake to my own ears. I stood up waving my hand in front of his face. "Mr. Jeon. Don't feed your ego with lies." He raised a brow taking a step closer to me. Just enough that his shoes kissed mine.
He slid his left hand inside his pocket. Now when he was standing tall so close to me, I realized how small I was. He hovered over me like a tower. He looked down at me. "Are you sure it's a lie?" His voice was low. Just enough for it to not echo in the entire room but his voice was definitely echoing in my head. I cleared my throat walking past him.

"Don't speed too much while driving. I'm not a big fan of it." I changed the topic hurriedly walking out from the glass doors. He followed behind me but seconds later he was walking right beside me such that his knuckles were brushing against my hand.

I should have pulled my hand away. Just how burning his skin was. He wasn't even touching me. But I didn't want to lose the warmth of his hands. My hands are always so cold. Always freezing. Maybe because I don't know what it feels like to be warm and comforted by touches.

He drove me back to house. During the entire ride slow music was playing in the background. He wasn't silent for even a second. He kept talking to me.

I have always preferred people who are quiet around me. I just don't understand why people have to talk so much? Why can't people stand together silently with no awkwardness? I loved it when I was alone and no one was talking to me taking me out of my headspace.

But there's something different about him. When he speaks I want him to keep talking. He asks too many questions. Too many questions about myself and I realize that I don't have answers to most of them. I know myself so little.

"What do you like to eat? Your favorite food?" He asked me. I had to think for five minutes to answer him and this was my answer.

"I don't know. I just eat everything. There's nothing I like too much or too less." He didn't look surprise. He didn't judge me when I told him that. He didn't give me an expression I was expecting him. I don't know what I was expecting though.

"Same. There's so much to eat that I can't decide what I like." He replies. His words carrying that tenderness I quite can't identify. Is he ever rude? Harsh?

I scoffed playing with my fingers. What I said and what he said is poles different.

"I meant that I eat only to live. I don't find anything tasty anymore. I don't crave anything. And sometimes it upsets me because I used be such a big foodie." I admitted in a low whisper. I was left stunned by everything that came out from my mouth. I never said it out loud. Not like I had anyone listening to me.

He doesn't answer me. He doesn't comment anything about it. He doesn't use his comforting words. He stays silent. I wonder what he is thinking. Is he pitying me? Is he thinking what to say to something like that? I stare at him for long waiting for him to speak but when he doesn't I heave out a sigh looking away.

"Do you like travelling?" He asks after a long pause. I shrug my shoulders thinking about the last time I travelled. Last time I went too far away from my house? And I don't recall it clearly but I have blur pieces of memory of being happy, a beautiful scenery of the darkest shade of green trees and the bluest ocean I have ever seen appears in front of my eyes.
I remember staring into those amber gold eyes and feeling the most ecstatic ever. I remember two arms holding me like I am their entire life. I remember holding the pinky finger and smiling ever so brightly.

But I don't remember it clearly. It was a time when I was actually alive.

And it was the last time when I travelled. Too far from my house.

"Maybe. I'd like to go to a place where it's only ocean. The sound of waves and peace. I never tried travelling though."

He goes silent again. As if storing every alphabet of my words of my sentences piece by piece in his memory. He asks more questions. Like about my favorite color—that I answer by saying I never paid close attention to colours but maybe blue since I like oceans so much—about my hobbies, talents, favorite subject. He asks about my college and teachers and friends.

I can't answer any of them. No hobbies. Talents? I don't think I have any. Favorite Subject? I don't have one anymore. College? It's shit! Teachers? Boring and annoying. Friends?
None, I guess.

He doesn't tell me anything about him. He keeps on asking and I wonder if he is really interested in talking to me or if he is doing all of it because simply it's his job.

I am sure it's his job otherwise why would anyone want to know about someone as boring as me?

That's just how people are.