Wanting Approval

Chapter Twenty Seven

It was the second week that Lewis was back in school after being in the hospital. He and Blake are sitting in the library eating their lunches. Lewis was having a harder time because they had run out of his crackers so his mom suggested he have a small collection of chips. That morning when he agreed, he had been feeling brave, now sitting at the table with nothing left to eat and staring at the ziplock bag he was feeling far less confident. Lewis could feel himself tearing up, he didn't want it to be this hard to eat, but his head would not stop screaming at him. His brain was starting to speed up and thinking about everything all at once. Then he felt an arm snake its way across his shoulders and put firm, reassuring pressure. Blake had noticed Lewis's struggle and came over to his side, he put his arm around him and pulled into his side for discomfort. Blake started whispering to Lewis about how proud he was and about all the little things he liked about Lewis. Blake was continuously spitting out encouragements and Lewis felt himself relaxed enough to eat. His mind was far from quiet but it was better than before.

Once Lewis was finished eating the chips Blake didn't give him even a second to feel guilty before he pulled him up into a proper bone crushing hug. Lewis loved these types of hugs the best from Blake, because he always had the perfect amount of pressure and because Lewis fit into Blakes shoulder and neck. This way Lewis could fully appreciate Blake.

After his last class, Lewis was not feeling up to soccer practice or venturing into the crowd of people in the hallway, but he had to get to practice because he was already enough of a disappointment to his mom as it was. Skipping practice was not going to help his situation. So, when Blake took his hand and pulled him into the hall, the noise of everything took over his senses. Lewis couldn't focus on any one thing. He could hear basketball shoes squeaking on the tile floor, he could hear so many lockers being shut and too many voices at once. Then the movement from all the students rushing home or to practices was disorientating. Someone brushed up against him and he felt himself closing in. His grip on Blakes hand was slowly going slack and his breathing was getting less regular.

Blake looked back to check on Lewis because he was loosening his hold on Blake's hand, but Blake wasn't expecting to see Lewis's eyes searching his surroundings frantically. Blake swore under his breath and picked up his pace to get to the bathroom faster. Unfortunately for them this didn't help. There were lots of people in their way, it was Friday and most people were just leisurely walking or rushing to get their respective practices. By the time they made it to the bathroom Lewis was basically wheezing and panicking. Dylan happened to be using this washroom at the same time so he shared a worried look with Blake before the two sprung into action.

Dylan took Lewis's bag from his shoulders and shooed another person out of the bathroom. Blake turned Lewis around and brought him into his own chest with a tight grip. He immediately sat them down on the floor and started exaggerated breathing while encouraging Lewis to follow his breathing too. Dylan made his way in front of the other two and carefully prying Lewis's fists apart since he knew Lewis was prone to scratching himself at moments like this. Dylan was softly brushing over Lewis's skin to bring him back to them. 

Lewis could finally hear Blake and Dylan's words and his breathing was becoming easier but he was still focusing on keeping it even. Lewis had never felt more grateful for his friends, they knew just what to do when his body sent him into a panic. If it weren't for Dylan, Callie and now Blake, Lewis would have left school a long time ago. He can feel himself coming back, the numb feeling and tension in his extremities slowly fading and being replaced by the soft touch of Dylan.

"I um... I really have to go meet my mom outside, but you think you got this. He seems alright enough now, right?" Dylan says after another couple of minutes. He feels guilty about leaving one of his best friends but his mom will be annoyed and Lewis has Blake here who is more than capable of taking care of him.