Wanting Approval

Chapter Twenty Three

It is now a couple weeks later on Sunday, Lewis is sitting at his desk looking at his school notes for maths. This isn't usually a problem for Lewis, he has always gotten good grades, so when he received a lower grade on his last quiz for this unit in maths he was unprepared. To say Lewis was stressed about this test would be an understatement because he was just staring at the paper trying to keep his breath under control. Nothing was making sense about the numbers and it was only getting worse the more he tried to study. Lewis was thinking about starting the problem he was working on again or taking a break when his mom came into the room and interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey sweets, I brought some fruit cause you didn't come down for lunch. You still working on maths?" Lewis's mom asks after setting the bowl of fruit beside his work on the desk and rubbing her hand up and down Lewis's back. She looks over his shoulder at the papers spread out all over Lewis's desk. She can also feel how taught Lewis's muscles in his back and shoulders feel.

"Y-y-a... I don't l-like it. Num-num-mber are stupid" Lewis mumbles out rubbing his forehead and looking over the fruit in the bowl his mom had brought. Truth be told he hadn't gone down for breakfast or lunch because he was feeling too stressed to eat. Plus it gave him an excuse not to.

"I know they aren't any fun but unfortunately they are rather useful sweets. Lewis you are going to do great on this test, okay, maths are not a problem for you, yah?" Lewis's mom says with enough conviction that she hopes she can instil some confidence into her son. Lewis just sighs out and picks a piece of strawberry out of the bowl.

Lewis's mom leaves his room after hugging him from behind over the back of his chair and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. He is hoping that after a short fruit snack break he can focus better on these practice questions.

Although after about another couple of hours of studying Lewis can feel his anxiety crawling up his throat. He tries to get through the last two questions but halfway through the last one he has to get up and run to the bathroom. Lewis slams the door behind himself and drops down to his knees in front of the toilet. At this point he is breathing rapidly and heaving. Lewis has always hated throwing up so he is fighting off what he knows is inevitably. He sits with his back against the bathtub poised at the ready to lean forward and get his head in the toilet so as not to make a mess like he used to when he was a kid. When he was younger and got stressed about things like the first day of school or a soccer tournament he would wait until it was too late or not tell his parents at all and just end up throwing up on the floor because he wasn't aware that it was from anxiety. Now Lewis has learned and can usually make his way to the bathroom, so this is where he is. He also knows there isn't much in his stomach, since all he's had was the bowl of fruit his mom had brought in around lunch time.

Without too much of a wait Lewis finds himself shooting forward and heaving into the toilet. His stomach brings up an acidic burning feeling in his throat. This doesn't last for a long time but Lewis still sits on the bathroom floor for a couple minutes to calm down because he can feel his stomach tensing still. To distract himself from the nausea he catches up on texting Blake back since he hadn't been feeling like a great boyfriend today after ignoring his phone most of the day to focus on studying.

From Lewis: Hey, I'm sorry for taking so long just been busy with maths. How was work?

From Blake: Dead, no one came in so I was pretty bored and don't you worry your pretty little head about not answering me if you're busy that's okay. You don't owe me an explanation Lewis!

From Blake: Speaking of maths can u help me with this one because you are the most bestest and beautiful boyfriend ever ;) *image attached

From Lewis: you're a loser but yes call me and I'll walk you through it if you want <3