Unity

It is my fault.

I'd get tortured flashbacks from the night before, I even checked over my legs and cringed at the purple discolouration of my skin. Finger prints left around my ankles, on the inside of my knees and it made me want to scream. I was silently beating myself up about it, I had lead him on so maybe I deserved it. Maybe if I'd fought harder then it wouldn't of gotten to that point, if I'd been quicker I'd of gotten away and nothing would've happened.

It happened over and over again, fading in and out of sleep only to repeat the same thoughts. I cried for most of the day, surprised that I even had any tears left to cry. I stayed curled in on myself, willing all of my thoughts go go away. I just wanted to be left alone.

I was ignoring all of my problems, I was ignoring everyone. I didn't want to see all the sympathetic looks, experience any of the whispering as I passed by. I just couldn't do it. I slept on and off all day, ignoring the people that knocked at the door. At first it was Tahlia but I couldn't look her in the eye, even though she was my best friend, especially knowing she was dating Macs twin brother.

The next few times was John, he told me he was bringing food and leaving it at the door. He came by a few more times after that, shouting at me through the door because none of the food had budged. I just hid my head beneath my pillow, eyes closed and pretending that no one was there.

The time after that was Ace. It was a quiet knock, a gentle knock so he wouldn't scare me. "Ava." He called from behind the door, trying to turn the handle. I wanted to ignore him, I tried to ignore him but everything inside of me was just begging for him. I needed his arms around me, holding me together so that I wouldn't fall apart.

Gingerly I let my legs slide out from beneath the blanket, nearly jumping at the cold contact of the floor beneath me. I shuffled towards the door, my hand shaking as I lifted it to slide back the lock. Hesitantly I pulled the door open, enough so that we could see one another. Outside it was getting dark, the sun setting behind him. Relief spread out onto his features, his eyes scanning my body and the gap between us.

"Are you okay?" He asked. My bottom lip wobbled and he shot forwards, my hand disappearing from behind the door as he gently pushed past it. He caged me in against him, I relaxed instantly in his hold.

"I just." I paused, swallowing the hot iron in my throat. I repeatedly blinked my eyes, silently scolding myself as I knew I was about to cry. "I can't stop thinking about last night, how I shouldn't of lead him-"

"Stop it." He warned, closing the door with the heel of his foot. "It's not your fault. You could've kissed him, you could've touched him and if you said no then he should've listened." The ferocity of his words stunned me to silent, I pulled back to look up at him.

He sighed, resting his forehead against mine. "My mom was raped." He mumbled, eyes closing painfully at the memory. "She ended up killing herself because she blamed herself, it wasn't her fault. Everyone but her knew it wasn't her fault, you need to know it wasn't your fault."

I didn't know what to say to him, his revelation taking me by surprise yet I was eager to hear him talk more about his mother. He looked pained and I didn't want to press him further, I took his hand in mine before lifting it and brushing my lips against his knuckles. He smiled sadly, pulling me against him once more.

We stood there, holding one another. The both of us were trying to soothe one another, hoping that our embrace would be enough to take away the others troubles. A knock pried us apart. "Ace." Cain hissed from the other side urgently. "Axels looking for you man, he's gonna freak if he knows you're here again."

Ace sighed, looking down at regretfully yet I smiled up at him and gently nudged him towards the door. "Go before Axel kills us both." He chuckled, taking my face between his hands. He looked over my face, checking that I was okay with this. I leaned up in my tiptoes, pressing our lips together.

"I'll come by later." He promised, disappearing behind the door but not moving until he heard my lock back in place. I felt a little better after seeing Ace, I even decided to get in the shower again.

The water rained down on me, I closed my eyes trying to relish in the warmth it offered but they snapped open at the image of Macs face drawn into a snarl. Without realising I was clutching the loofah, scrubbing harshly at my skin like I had before. All of a sudden I could see his hands, pressed against between my legs and around my throat. I scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin was glowing an angry red.

Even then I didn't feel like it was enough, I wanted to replace my skin for another as grotesque as it sounded. I forced myself out of the shower as soon as I begun to blame myself again, Ace words resounded through out my mind. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault.

I let my hair air dry, finding my favourite footless onesie in the drawers. I struggled to put it on, avoiding the clutter on the floor. I didn't have enough energy to clean it up myself. I was just buttoning up the front of it when a loud knocking sounded by the front door. I stilled, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I waited for a few more seconds, holding my breathe as the knocking increased.

"Ava!" Cain cried out from the other side. "It's about Ace and Axel." I was nearly stumbling over my own feet with how quickly I moved, I threw open the door and clung onto it. My face fell at the look on Cains face.

"Ace has been shot." My heart was thundering against my rib cage now, tears filling my eyes. "B-but." He stuttered as he begun to cry. "Axel."

My heart had stopped now, eyes searching cains face as I waited for him to continue. "Axel what Cain?" I snapped. He closed his eyes, turning his head before looking back at me.

"Axels dead."