All Too Well (Phoenix's Version) ✓

You Remember It All Too Well

*Chris's POV*

I took the rest of the week to read Phoenix's book and honestly, by the end of it, I was disgusted with myself. There was a lot I have done in my life that I'm not proud of, but reading what I put her through, and thinking back on who I was during that part of my life, I couldn't even recognize that man anymore.

As soon as I had finished it, I called up Cindi, inviting her over to talk. I broke up with her. It was for the best, although the gash on my forehead from the keys she threw might have disagreed with me. I wanted to wait to tell Phoenix in person when she dropped off Phoebe for her weekend that night.

The doorbell rings on Friday evening and I open it to find both of my girls standing on the other side. "Phoebe!" I yell, kneeling down to hug her.

"Hi Daddy!" She says before once again running into the house, Dodger chasing after her and barking in greeting.

"Hi Chris." Phoenix says softly and I look up at her, her blue eyes taking my breath away.

"Hey Phee." I say before taking the weekender bag from her. "Listen, I was wondering if we could talk. My ma has been bugging me about letting Phoebe sleep over with the other grandkids tonight and I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure. I know Phoebe really looks forward to any and all time she can spend with Stella."

"Ok. Let's go grab her and then we can head out."

...
*Phoenix's POV*

Thirty minutes later we were sitting at a little acoustic bar downtown. "So what did you want to talk about Chris?" I ask.

"I broke up with Cindi."

"You what?"

"You were right. It wasn't fair to her to love someone who is clearly still in love with someone else."

"You don't mean that Chris. That's just the sex talking. It was always good between us and you're not thinking clearly now."

"No. I wasn't thinking when I left you that night and fucked around with Lily. I wasn't thinking when I didn't take Seb up on his offer to hang out and missed the birth of my daughter. I wasn't thinking when I didn't check in on you at all over the last 5 years. But now, now I'm thinking clearly. I want you; you and me and Phoebe. This is where you belong Phoenix. I know you feel it too."

I sigh. "I can't Chris. You're right. You weren't there. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle you leaving a second time."

"I'm not going to Phoenix."

But I can't do this right now. I dab my eyes, trying not to smudge my mascara. "I'm gonna run to the bathroom really quick." I say before running to the back. I splash cold water on my face, careful to avoid my eyes as I dabbed it dry with a paper towel. This all just got too real. I stare at my reflection, taking in just how the years had changed me. Where before there was a scared little girl, there was a woman who was confidant in who she was and what she wanted. But one evening around Chris without our daughter as a safety buffer and I was once again back to that little girl.

I get back out to our table and Chris is nowhere to be found. "And here's a special song from one of Boston's finest, Chris Evans." I do a double take as I see him take a seat on a stool on the stage.

🎶This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know
You know, you know

I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing
If I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up

'Cause you know
You know, you know

I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing
If I don't see you anymore

So far away (So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away (So far away)
Been far away for far too long

But you know
You know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say

That I love you (I love you)
I loved you all along
And I forgive you (I forgive you)
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me, and never let me go

Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me, never let me go

Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go🎶

I didn't realize I was crying as he finished the song but as he sang out that last note I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I watch as he comes off the stage and the whole place stops, turns and stares as he asks one final question. "So Rudd, what'll it be? Will you hold on to me and never let me go?"