Taming Wild Roses [Chasing Liberty Series #1]

55

"You did not try harder!"

"Kelly..." I cried too.

"Roshan.." she held my hands. Malamig ito at namamawis din katulad sa akin. "I know I've said hurtful words before. I know I stopped you from being with him, kasi mahal ko siya. I'm sorry, I'm sorry kung yun yung dahilan kung bakit hindi mo siya kayang mahalin. Kung bakit pinipigilan mo yung sarili mo."

"Hindi sa ganon Kelly....at first yes, inisip kita. But when Neytiri came, I hate to say this but, I forgot about you, liking him. And I tried to love him, pero wala talaga..." humagulgol ako.

"Can you please try harder?" she begged.

Umangat ang aking tingin. "Why are you saying this?" why is she begging that to me? Hindi ba dapat masaya siya na umalis na ako kay Aiden, na pwede na sila?

"I know I always deny liking him, that's bullshit kasi mahal na mahal ko siya. Bata pa lang ako siya na yung gusto ko, and I thought when I denied that, I'll somehow forget that I love him. Pero wala eh. Mahal ko."

"And the thought of him, impregnating my besfriend tormented my fucking soul. Yung taong mahal ko, mahal ang bestfriend ko."

"I'm sorry, I..." she held my hands tighter. Umiling siya.

"It's not your fault. No, Roshan. It's never your fault. Hindi mo naman alam, wala kang alam. And it's not your fault that he's madly in love with you."

"I blamed you, I'm sorry. Nasaktan ako. Sobra." iyak niya.

Lumapit ako sa kanya. I gave her a hug.

She hugged me back.

I cried. I miss this.

"Roshan..." she mumbled.

"That night, he went to me, drunk. He kneeled down and beg, na kung sana pwede kitang kausapin. Na kung sana mapipilit kitang umuwi sa kanya. Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit yun?"

"Yung lalaking pinapangarap mo, binasura lang ng bestfriend mo." her voice broke.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." hagulgol ko.

"Pag mahal mo pala, uunahin mo yung kasiyahan niya kesa sayo. Na kahit wala kayo, basta masaya siya, masaya ka na rin para sa kanya, kahit iba na yung kasama niya. Ganun pala yun." she cried harder.

Ang sakit. Ang sakit na marinig ito sa kanya. Na hindi lang pala si AIden ang nasaktan ko, pati pala ang pinakamamahal kong kaibigan.

What the hell have you done Roshan?

"Roshan, I beg you. Pwede bang balikan mo na siya?" she weeped helplessly. Sobrang higpit ng hawak niya sa kamay ko.

"Hindi naman ganun kadali iyon Kelly eh. Kung ako lang yung papipiliin, ayoko siyang masaktan. May pinagsamahan kami ng matagal na panahon. Ayokong..."

"Pero paano siya? Tuwing naalala ko yung mukha niya noong gabi yun, ang sakit, sobrang sakit. I felt like I was being tortured."

"Kelly..." ani ko gamit ang mababang boses. Nakakapagod din palang umiyak.

"Can you please do that for me? I'm sorry kung nagiging makapal yung mukha ko ngayon, after everything, after hurting you nandito ako at nakikiusap. Pero kasi..."

"I get you. I get you, Kelly and I am really thankful for this. I'll try...I'll talk to Aiden and I'll tell him everything. Pero Kelly....hindi ko na kasi siya kayang balikan eh." yuko ko. "I....I like someone else now. It took me so long to realize it." parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa sakit.

Never did I imagine myself crying helpless because of love - romantic love.

"No." she cried. "How about Aiden, huh? Paano siya" she shouted.

"I–"

"Sino yang bago mo? Si Kai? Siya diba? Tangina Roshan, Aiden's been with you for a fucking year and now that Kai's back? Iiwan mo siya para sa lalaking iyan? That you barely even knew? Are you for real?"

"Sorry, hindi ko naman ginusto." iyak ko.

"Paano yung lalaking nagmahal sayo ng sobra, yung binigay sayo ang lahat? Yung tanggap ka at yung anak mo? Yung kahit alam na niyang hindi sa kanya yung bata, ayos lang, basta kasama ka? You'll throw him away just like that? Pagkatapos mong gamitin, wala na lang. Ganon ba?"

Umiling ako. "No, Kelly....hindi mo naiintindihan."

"And he fucking prefers you over me? Really? You don't deserve him." sigaw niya.

"Kelly...." I begged.

"Sige, if you don't want him, then don't. It's your loss. Just don't come running to him when we're happy together. You lost your chance Roshan. You fucking lost it." matigas niyang ani at nagmamadaling tumakbo palabas ng cafe.