Playing With Fire and Ice ✔︎

XV

I'm always going to be the bad guy! I'm not meant to be a hero. All I ever do is hurt the people closest to me.

Oliver is speeding away from the school. His foot slamming on the gas pedal as I bury my face into my hands.

How stupid was I to believe that just maybe they would understand me? All I did was protect them and they just see the very fire that consumes me.

"Cassie!" Oliver says and I can feel the velocity drop.

"Take me home," I yell at him my hands cover my face as I try to hide my emotions from him. He steps on the gas and my body is pushed back into the seat.

I'm a monster. Everyone sees it. Even my own family ran away as soon as they saw what I've become so why would my classmates see me any different.

"Cassie," Oliver's voice is full of concern instead of listening to him I push my body away from him. "You saved all of us."

His words sink into my mind, "no, I could have killed you and everyone else." Pulling my hands away from my face I see that they are trembling and my body is warming up once again.

Not here. Not now!

"You could have but you didn't Cassie. I could have killed them but you, you, stopped me." Oliver pulls up my driveway and before he can come to a complete stop I shove the door open and jump out. "Cassie!" Slamming the door shut I rush up the driveway.

No one dares to come anywhere near the freaks house so there is no need for me to lock it. My hand wraps around the door handle and yank it open.

There's no one here. As usual!

Walking through the threshold my body feels as if the weight of the world just collapsed upon me. Pushing myself further into the house I can hear Oliver running over the gravel trying to get inside.

"Don't you dare!" I scream as I can sense his nearness.

"Cassie just let me in," I know that he means more than letting inside the house. He wants to be inside my head, inside my mind, and the scary part is that he wants to be inside of my soul. See what I am holding onto, what's holding me together, and the worse part what is breaking me apart.

"I need to just breathe Oliver. Give me some space," the temperature is rising, the thermostat is rising, seventy-four degrees, eighty-three degrees, I know that my mother has it programmed to cool down once it reached ninety degrees.

My eyes dart to the mirror hanging on the largest wall in the room. That was where my mother would do her hair so that she wouldn't run into me in the bathroom.

"I scared you. I terrified you. You ran away from me to escape the monster that resided inside of me. Something that I couldn't control but I would hurt myself, even kill myself, before I let it hurt you." The black eyes stare back at me and they are not eyes of Cassie Fierce they are eyes of the beast he wants to be released.

There is a spark of light in the middle of my pupil and the flames engulf them as the flames swallow my hands. My hand shoots out as I send a fireball towards the thermostat. Where the thermostat was moments ago is a blob of burned plastic clinging onto the wall.

"I should stop fighting with my demon and let it do as it pleases!" I yell at myself as I stare myself down in the mirror. "I try to be good but no one sees it all they see is the bad. Might as well make their vision of me a reality!"

"Cassie," my eyes go to the door and I see that the door handle is melted. That's why Oliver has not come bursting through the door.

"Go away Oliver," I scream at him. All my pent up waves of anger bursts through me in waves as the flames consume me, swallowing me whole. "Might as well make it seem like I never existed," I whisper to myself as I finally let the hurt that I bottle up eat me alive.

The cracking noise distracts me my eyes shoot to the door once again. There is a loud thump and then a second, "Cassie!" He yells as the third thump echoes in the quiet room.

My body fights with me trying to extinguish the flame or let it grow.

Is there any way to end this? All I want is for all of this to end! Is that too much? Everyone would be so much happier without me.

"I'm sorry Oliver, you have been a better friend than I deserved." There is a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that fears of what would happen if I push my power to its limit.

Can that destroy me?

The carpet of my feet starts burning, leaving a trail of ember behind it, as my flames grow. Might as well destroy this house as well let my mother live her life as if she had only given birth to one child rather than two.

My body reaches a higher temperature, a temperature that it has never reached before. My flames sway around me as I stand perfectly still.

Let them burn me alive. Let me live the nightmare that everyone thinks I will cause them.

"Cassie," Oliver screams just as the loud crash breaks my concentration and Oliver stumbles inside the house. His body is cover in ice as he runs at me his body colliding with mine.

We both hit the ground hard but I manage to roll out from under him. Getting to my feet quickly. He stands up straight before me his ice blue eyes burn into mine. Averting my eyes I did not want anyone to see me like this.

I want to be left alone!

The door broken from its hinges sits between Oliver and I. The ice covering the door as the crack in the middle shows where Oliver was hitting moments ago.

The flames die off immediately as if my body breathed them in, leaving the smoke that lingers behind.

"I know what you're doing Cassie. What the hell are you thinking?" He growls at me, he is angry, infuriated beyond belief that I would try this.

"I want some peace Ollie," I breathe, "you will be fine without me." I give him a weak smile hoping that he would understand me.

"Okay," he sighs taking me back, "I'll let you." My breath gushes out of me in astonishment.

"Really?" I question him.

"Yes," he nods, "under one condition."
What? What are you doing?

"I do it with you," no, no way in hell, "or I will fight you until there is nothing left in me."

"Ollie, you have a life waiting for you out there," I take a step closer to him, "I have nothing."

"You have me...you've always had me." He whispers making my breath get caught in my throat, "you were just hell-bent on not seeing it."

"What are you trying to say?"

***

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