ON THE WANE

21

~October 7, 2022.
    
Kammy's Pov

    I had woken up suddenly. I sat up grabbing my phone from the desk beside my bed, 1:34am the clock read. I had barely gotten any sleep. I sighed getting up.

    I made my way towards the door opening it up slightly. I peeped towards both sides of the corridor. When I saw no one I walked out of my room shutting the door quietly behind me. I walked to the left stopping at a door.

    I hesitated , not wanting to go in. Glancing at the top of the frame, there was a verse from the Bible which said
   ' My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth (Psalm 121:2).

     It was one of her favourite verses from the Bible and she made sure to say it to me whenever she could. She taught me to be religious. She thought me how to love God and everything about him.

   I realized I hadn't been that lately,  because of the things going on around me , I've shunned Him out and I know Kaima wouldn't want that.

     Taking in a deep breath, I pushed the door open turning on the light before shutting it silently. It was the first time I had been here since she left. The courage to do that wasn't just within me.

    Looking around, I was met with quotes, poems and verses from the bible all over her walls. A short poem she wrote caught my eyes as I moved towards it , it read.
    'You may think we are good,
     But I guess you haven't understood,
     You may think we are perfect,
     But that's just us trying to hid our defects'.

       This was exactly how I felt those days or maybe it was just her trying to tell us she wasn't okay. But we just weren't paying enough attention. This was new, I thought. she wrote it just before she got to the hospital. It hasn't always been here.

   I looked towards her bed at the right corner of the room. The blue bed spread was neatly laid. My breath shuddered as tears blurred my vision.

   I walked towards the bed bending to touch it. It was like she was still here. Kaima was so tidy to the extent that her bed was always straightened even when she was on it. So looking at it, there wasn't any difference with her being here and not.

    I stood straight looking at the picture on her desk. The same one I showed her that day. I placed a hand on my mouth as sobs escaped my throat.

    I walked towards where it stood, picking it up. I dropped to the floor as I hugged the picture to myself.

    Tomorrow was the day, the day she was going to be placed in the ground and gone forever and I was really dreading it.

    I lay on the floor as I curled in on myself. My body raked with silent sobs as I began talking quietly.

    ' I've decided to forgive them K, let peace reign. I miss you so much and I won't stop missing you. You told me when christians die they go to be in a better place with God. I know you are there and one day I will see you again.'

    'I love you K, forever and always'. I  admitted for the umpteenth time as my eyes shut slowly.

                     ************

    'Kammy, Kammy'. I felt someone shake me awake. 'Kammy, hey'.

    'Kay?'. I whispered as I slightly opened my eyes.

    'What are you doing here? I went to your room I didn't see you there'. He said as he pulled me up into a sitting position.

    I looked around ' I just... I just wanted to feel her presence Kay, I didn't know I slept off. I just—

   ' That's okay, it's okay'. He called out as he sat beside me pulling me closer to him. I hugged him tightly as we both rested our backs on the wall of her room.

    'Kay?' I called.

   'Hmm'.

   'Thanks for everything. You know , the Caleb stuff. I never got to thank you'.

    ' Anytime Kammy, anytime'. He assured.

    'And hey, I know you were worried about who was paying Kaima's bills'. He said.

    'Yes, who was it?' I asked.

   'It wasn't Mr Attah so don't worry. The government decided to pay the bills of some cancer patients in few hospitals. She was one of them'.

   'Wow' Was all I said. I didn't even know that was happening but I was glad it wasn't him anyway.

  After few minutes of silence I asked softly . ' It hurts so much Kay, will it ever stop hurting?'

   ' Baby steps Kammy, baby steps'. He assured rubbing his palms on my back. I sniffled as I curled into him resting my head on his chest. Again my eyes began shutting slowly.