ON THE WANE

3( Not So Kammy)

~March 8,2022

                        

                          ************
Jolting awake, I looked around. At least I  was still in my room , I thought with a sigh. Putting a hand to my face, I realized it was slightly wet.

       Guess I wasn't just crying in my sleep alone. Getting up from my bed, I heard a knock on my room door.
     
      'kamara?' I heard my mom call from the other side of the door.
    
     'Yes mom' I replied suddenly coughing. Why was my voice  so croaky?

    ' Are you okay? I heard you
screaming'  my mom asked.

    Screaming? stupid dream.

     'Oh y..yeah nothing, it was just a rat I saw' I stuttered, quickly cooking up a lie.

     'well did you catch it?'

'uh no , it escaped' I answered.

  'Alright well ,come down for breakfast in time' she said before going down the stairs .

      I sniffed as a tear streamed down my face. I felt really miserable about everything going on.

      Heaving in a deep sigh, I made my way into the bathroom . Taking a look at my reflection in the mirror, I cringed. I almost couldn't recognize the girl staring right back at me.

      My eyes were bloodshot with dark circles under it , evidence of lack of sleep. My black  braids were all over the place, well the consequences of not sleeping with a hair tie.

       Looking into my eyes once again , I realized they weren't as vibrant and shiny as before. The chocolate brown orbs were dark, sad and glazed with tears. Sniffing again, I harshly wiped a stray one away from my face.

     Grabbing my tooth brush and placing a blob of toothpaste on it, I quickly brushed my teeth before splashing handfuls of water on my face. Looking back in the mirror, my face looked a little better.

       I smiled weakly, but that didn't change the look in my eyes, it didn't change for a long time.

         Going down the stairs, I heard voices , guess I was the last down. Getting into the dining area I was met with my mom and my siblings.

      'Well good morning sleeping beauty, you made me do your job'  Kaima spoke as soon as I sat down.

        'Are you sure you are okay Kamara?' mom asked from my left side. ' I'm worried about you' she added.

     ' I'm fine' I replied forcing a small smile.

     I think my mom bought it cause she smiled in relief.

   'Well since you are okay, I have good news' she said as she clasped her hands together. I didn't even bother replying. Nothing was good news to me anymore, especially since after the incident.

         ' Aren't you going to ask what it is'? She asked slightly disappointed with my silence.

    'You were going to say it anyway right?' I asked dryly turning to face her slightly. She sighed a bit but a  smile appeared on her face almost immediately.

      'I don't like this news' Kaima spoke up from my front.

   'Its not about you' my mom snapped at her in annoyance.

   'well' she smiled again turning to face me. ' You'll be having visitors today' .
   Visitors? I thought, Sarah and her brother said they weren't getting back until next week.

   'I thought Sarah said they weren't getting back until next week' .Kaima said voicing out my thoughts.

     ' She's not talking about your friends' My brother who hadn't said a word since I got to the table spoke up from my right side .

      ' when I said visitors, I meant suitors' she said smiling. I stiffened.
  ' I don't understand ' I replied straight faced.

    ' We talked about this Kammy' she replied in a firm tone.

   'No we didn't ....talk' I replied . 'It was more of a shout fight'. I added, getting slightly irritated.

    'wait wait. Suitors? Meaning like people who are interested in marrying my sister?' Kaima asked with raised brows.

    ' No one is interested in any marriage here, at least not me' I replied looking straight at mom.

   ' Your dad has already given them a call, just get ready'.

     ' No mom you can't do this!?' I screamed angrily pushing my chair back to get up.

  ' You guys have always been dictating my life, ever since I was young, I've always just kept quiet about it and you all thought I was fine. I just don't get it. I mean, you don't do that to Kaima , you don't do that to Kay, it's just me why?!'  I shouted . I was fuming and I did not like it.

    ' It's for your own good dear' she replied getting up to touch me but I took a step away from her. Hurt flashed through her eyes .

     I shook my head .  ' It's not for my good mom and we both know it'. I  don't want it, I mean, you don't even ask for my own opinions , you never do.

      You don't even know how I feel about any of these'  I Said, my voice cracking slightly at the end.

      'Kamara why don't we talk about this after breakfast' she suggested.

     'No' I said shaking my heads  walking backwards. ' I've lost my appetite.

      Have a good morning' I said dryly before dashing up the stairs, slamming my room door shut as soon as I got in.