In Need of a Distraction |18+| Book Two | ✔

Chapter 43

I'm pulled from my tormenting reverie by tapping on my closed door. I can't muster up enough energy to part my chapped lips to utter a single word, but I don't have to as the door creaks open like it does every morning.

I don't remove my gaze from the ceiling but somehow this morning feels different. Mom heaves a frustrated sigh as she walks into my childhood bedroom, "this needs to end." She walks over to my window, opening my blinds, revealing torturous sunlight.

"Tell me what happened, sweetheart?" Mom pleads for the umpteenth time, but like every other day, I remain silent. The bed dips in - this is different - mom's arm coming to rest over my torso, "Timay, please, talk to me. I can't bear to see you like this."

"I'm fine," my voice comes out in a raspy whisper.

"You are not fine," she cups my cheek, gently turning my face towards hers and I wish she didn't. I see the concern in her brown eyes. I see the worry creasing her forehead. I see the sadness my state is inflicting on her.

"Mom, I'm... Fine." My eyes prickle with tears, my breathing picks up, and I sniffle. "I'm fine," my voice goes all squeaky. "Completely fine," I lie, miserably. The tears fall, escaping my tear ducts, mom pulls me to her chest, wrapping her loving arms around me in a comforting, soothing embrace.

We remain like that until I have no more tears to cry. The ounce of moisture that my body possessed is dried up along with the reservoir. "Talk to me, Timay." Mom sniffles and I give in.

The words pour from my lips like a song as I sniff back snot and tears - tears I thought were gone and dried up. I tell her everything and she listens without interruption allowing me to let her in, baring my crushed soul.

Once I'm done, she doesn't respond allowing silence to settle between us as she rubs soothing circles on my back, "did you intend to run?"

"Not at first," I answer honestly. "I wanted to clear my head before I said or did something I might regret, turns out I did that anyway."

"Does he know that?"

"No... I... He... He assumed I was going to run; he made that decision for the both of us without giving me the benefit of the doubt."

"Do you love him?"

"More than anything."

"Then you need to try and explain your side. Miscommunication between a new couple can be catastrophic when left unresolved but all relationships have them... It isn't worth ending your blooming relationship over a misunderstanding. Circumstances are just that and we can't allow that to destroy us and our love, sending us running for the hills. I know you're a runner, sweetheart but you can't outrun this, not this time."

"But-"

"But nothing," mom kisses my forehead. "Who are you really angry at? Is it Noah, for keeping something from you that wasn't his secret to share out of fear you won't believe him? Is it Ethan, because despite what he did to you, revealing his true colors, you found it in yourself to believe him, again or are you angry at yourself for running when things got tough?" Mom asks and it is hard-hitting questions that get my rusty gears turning. "The walls we build around ourselves to shield us from pain and sorrow also shields us from happiness and love, the kind we deserve... Don't forget that."