Staying Strong

Being Found

I wake up in tears and panting. I start patting my self and pulling at my clothes to check that I'm still in my clothes and not a ballgown or doll-like makeup. I sit up and hug my knees as I pull the sleeves of my sweater back to cover my arms (they'd somehow gotten pushed up). As I sit up, I start thinking about the dream. When I was little and my dad started getting abusive towards me, I felt helpless and like I had no control over myself, like a puppet, so that part of my dream and where he abused me made sense. Even though the dream was mainly about me feeling loss of control and how my dad used to abuse me, I still keep think about what the little me said when I said I was the older version of her.

"I don't want this to be me," she had whined and that hit home so much for me. A lot of times, that thought goes through my head. When I was a child, during my happy years at least, I had dreamed of becoming a multimillionaire who owned a successful and huge buisness, but as I got older I pushed that dream aside and replaced it with a dream of being happy.

Often, I wonder what in my life I could have done differently to not turn out like this. As I think, I realize that there is nothing I could have ever done differently, because I've become who I am because of my father. Yet, I still wonder. What if there was something different I could have done?

As I sit, hugging my knees by the stream in my happy meadow, and think about my dream, I hear rustling and quickly turn my head but I see nothing. Animals, of course. I am outside.

Soon I hear it again, so I fish my pocket knife from my bag and start walking toward a bush where I hear the sound from. As I get closer, a puppy jumps out and I jump. After realizing it's only a puppy, I laugh pet the puppy. Wait, why is a well-kempt puppy all the way out here? Slowly, I stand back up and listen for noise that would indicate movement or even the sound of breathing. Soon my hearbeat quickens and the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat and my own heavy breathing, which signals that I'm about to have a panic attack.

I hear a whistle behind me and footsteps, so I quickly turn around. A boy about my age dodges the knife and falls to the ground as blood trickles off his hand. "Whoa!" He screams. "Phsyco much?"

"Sorry," I apologize. "But it's called protection." I help him of the ground and he brushes himself off, then rinses off his bloody hand in the clear stream. I watched as the water around his hand turns red, then fades into pink, then is gone and the water is clear again like the rest of the crystal blue stream.

"Why are you in my meadow?" I demand. I want to know how and why a stranger is here or found this place. I thought that it was too remote to be found.

"I've been coming here everyday for the past two years. Why are you here?" He says.

"I'll have you know that when I was a child, this was just a plain grassy meadow with a stream. My family came found it while hiking and we camped here every year until I was about ten years old. My mother and I planted these fruit trees and put these colorful fish in the stream. We created this wooden meadow!" I explain defensively.

"Too-shay!" He laughs which makes me laugh. He climbs up one of the pear trees, picks a pair, and sits on the branch as he takes a bite. "So wheres your family now?"

I stare down at my feet, knofe still in hand. "That is a forbidden topic," I say through clenched teeth as my grip on the pocket knife tightens and a tear escapes my eyes. No! Stay strong! Show no weaknesses.

The boy's face frowns. "I'm sorry." He jumps down. "Don't sab me," he says before he lightly hugs me. In an instant, warmth flows through me and I collapse into tears.

I crash down on my knees and cry as he sits next to me, waiting. He waits until I'm done then asks if I'm okay. "No, it's just that---what have I gotten my life into?"

"Well, everyone has problems," he says sympathetically. "I know what you're going through and it'll be okay." And I knew he meant it. I had a gut sinking feeling that he actually meant it. Then I felt it. The warmth of his arms wrapping around me was like nothing I'd felt before as he whispered, "It'll be okay."

"Laina!" I hear someone gasp-slash-scream. I jump up and back up against a tree as a man comes running towards me. My face became full of horror as I saw my mother running behind him. The boy took in the look on my face and immediately steps in front of me protectively. The way this boy stood so broad and strong just to protect a girl he just met, made me melt and realize that something had to have happened to him, too.

"Why is he here, Mom?" I scream.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you so bad!" My Mom answers. "He's changed now like you won't believe. We can be a happy and whole family again!"

Tears fill my eyes. No! Stay strong. You have to! This is the man that tried to starve you and your mother, you have to let him know that you are stronger now and you won't accept his apologies!

I quickly wip my eyes with a swift motion. "Let me get to my daughter." My father demands to the boy.

"But, sir, from the look on your daughter's face, she doesn't want to get near you." The boy simply says.

Anger fills my father's eyes. "Who do you think you are boy? How would you know what my daughter wants!"

"My name is Charles, sir! And I can tell just from the horror look on her face that she has no interest in seeing you!" Charles defends himself.

Mom quickly recognizes the anger on her ex-husbands face and horror fills her face as well. "Keith, calm down. It's probably just shock that Laina is in and she's scared. She's been through alot, plus she probably didn't expect us to find her here."

"Yes, I see that, but this boy has no place in telling me that I can't be neary daughter!" And in an instant, Charles is flung against another tree and I am in Keith's arms.

"No! Get away from me!" I scream and pushs Keith away, then ran to Charles' side. "See, Mom? He hasn't changed at all! Why are you letting him back into our lives? He tried to kill us! Does that mean nothing to you? He locked us in a bathroom for days on end to starve!" Mom gets a faraway look, and I know she is seeing the memories.