Professor Romanoff

chapter 17

I feel my hands trembling as I grab the biggest knife I can find. I walk towards the door, positioning myself next to it, so I can turn and stab her immediately when she comes in.

I close my eyes, allowing myself to rest for a second, before fully concentrating again. I hear her coming up the stairs of the terrace and clench my hand onto the handle of the knife even better. It shouldn't be that hard. Stab, stab, run.

The door opens. 'Y/N?' she calls out. 'Where are you?'

She closes the door behind her as I lunge forward and plunge the knife in her direction. She turns around faster than I ever could have expected and ducks. The knife goes totally the wrong way as she grabs my arm, twists it so that the knife falls out of it, catches it and pushes me backwards against the wall as hard as she can. I grunt as I hear something crack and a dull pain fills my skull. She lifts her arm and before I can do anything the knife is against my throat. I feel the sharp edge touching it every time I breathe. Her mouth is slightly open in shock, and she blinks a few times before she finally understands the situation.

'What the hell, Y/N?! What was that?!'

I close my eyes, accepting I've failed again.

'Just kill me, Natasha.'

She scoffs. 'Oh, so we are suicidal now? Who do you even think you are?! How dumb can you possibly be?'

'I am tired of this. Let me go or kill me. I don't give a fuck anymore.'

She hisses. 'Yeah, but I do and there is no way in hell you're getting one of those two options. Why, why did you want to kill me?'

I roll my eyes. 'Oh, why do you think I want to kill you? It's not like it's totally obvious.'

'Did you just roll your eyes at me? After you fucking tried to kill me?'

She moves the knife closer to my neck, it softly pressing into my flesh. I feel a bit of blood dripping down. I clench my hands to fists. It hurts, it fucking hurts.

She pushes it a bit further as I begin breathing faster and more blood begins to spill. 'Natasha-.'

'That is what dying feels like. Do you want that?'

'Maybe,' I answer, getting panicked. Fuck, I don't want to die at all but she's left me with no choice.

She presses harder as more and more blood starts flowing. The flaming pain goes through my whole body. I close my eyes, starting to breathe faster and faster. It starts hurting more and more every second. I feel my nails digging into the flesh of my hands.

'Okay, okay, stop!'

Within a second she removes the knife. I gasp as I am finally able to breathe again.

'Yeah, that's what I thought,' she says, letting me go and walking to the kitchen with fast strides. I hear the water running as she washes the blood off the knife. My legs feel like spaghetti. I slide down the wall, wrapping my hands around my knees and placing my head in between them. How could I be so stupid? Now she's going to hurt Ella and everyone else I've ever loved. I hear her footsteps getting closer, until they stop just before me. I don't dare looking up to her.

'Please don't hurt Ella,' I suddenly whisper.

She doesn't answer, but I know she has heard me.

'I'll do anything. Just don't hurt Ella.'

She sighs. 'I should, after you've tried to kill me.'

'Please don't.'

I suddenly feel her lifting my head up, one finger under my chin. She is sitting on the floor, opposite of me. She is staring into my eyes, her head slightly tilted.