Raven || Stiles Stilinski

Goodbye

*i do not own teen wolf *
So sorry for not updating I have been going through some stuff of my own recently, but THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 1000K READS I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH ITS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

ANYWAYS CONTINUE!

**Triggering**

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It had been an hour since stiles kissed me, and since he made me promise to not cut again, like the lack of a blade was going to magically make me stop.

Besides I had others that blade was just my favourite cause it was the sharpest that's all.

It wasn't, but I promised anyway knowing I was bullshitting.

I touched my lips gingerly where they seemed to still be tingling from the kiss from an hour ago, and all I was thinking was, as stupid as it seems, that I wasn't good enough for him.

I wasn't good enough for anybody.

Especially not Stiles Stilinski.

I sat their on my couch staring at the TV thinking maybe, just maybe, Stiles could bring me out of this dark hole I had been in for so long, even if he would leave me afterwards, which he would.

If he even liked me.

It was unbelievably obvious that he kissed me out of pity, he was sad that he saw one of his so called friends with cuts all over their arms, bleeding through a white but now dark red bandage, not because he had feelings for me, I mean I'm Carmen, I'm unlikable. I'm unlovable.

I got up off the lumpy couch and made my way into the bedroom where I got out my running stuff, running always helped, I put on my biker shorts that made me look fat but was long enough to hide my scars on my thighs while also keeping me cool, and my tank top and jumper, the tank made my stomach look huge, but it would have to do. I pulled my hair into a high pony, grabbed my headphones and phone and soon enough I was out of the cramped apartment and walking down the track in the forest.

Yeah, probably NOT a good idea when its, what? 11 at night?

Another great idea by Carmen Ray everyone!

I ran for a good 30 minutes before I could barely walk let alone run and made my way back to my apartment. I wasn't feeling good mentally or physically.

I wanted to end it all then and there.

I was so mentally drained that when I got home I landed face first into my mattress and fell into a sleep full of nightmares.

+++ (A\N: so cause I forgot what happened here in this part in teen wolf imma just wing it and just pretend the story line is the same, Kay? Kay)

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When I was awoken by my alarm, I ignored it, completely. If god wanted me to go to school today, fuck him cause I'm out.

Like hell I'm going to face stiles after what he saw, you've got to be shitting me.

Today was definitely one of my down days.

I really didn't want to do anything but sleep... Forever.

But I had to do something so I got up and walked over to my closet to get out my secret stash of weed, yes I had weed, I only smoked it when I was feeling partially down.

I guess today was the day.

I got out some of the weed and rolled a blunt.

I sat back done into my bed and got out my phone where I put on my favourite music, it wasn't screamo today or death medal or even rock, no I felt like ed Sheeran for my down mood.