Infinite [h.s.]

16. breathing

🎵Baby Blue — Luke Hemmings

Both my vision and mind are swimming — perhaps I did throw that whiskey down a bit too fast. I've been resolved on standing out here, attempting to evade the paparazzi, while I waited for Aurelia to finish her shift.

For now, she had said. She had wanted me to leave the bar for now.

What is the appropriate time frame for 'for now'? I don't even know how much time has passed; hell, I don't even know what time it is.

A few drunken people roam the streets, the sound of wild laughter and exuberant chatter filling the air. Cars honk as they pass by, and the night sky seems to glitter with the lights from the skyscrapers.

They're right to say that New York truly is the City That Never Sleeps. Perhaps that's yet another reason why I adore it so much.

I'm about to go back into the bar myself when, as if on cue, Aurelia walks out, her gaze on the keys in her hands. She pays no attention to be as she turns around to lock up, and quickly throws the set of keys into her little purse.

"Aurelia," I speak up, and immediately regret it because she jumps.

I've startled her, and if I wasn't so drunk and confused and filled to the brim with emotion, I would have laughed. She ought to be more careful, especially at this hour of the night. Aurelia quickly turns around, her chest heaving with panic as she clutches her hand to her heart.

"Fuck, Harry," she breathes out as she tries to catch her breath, running a hand through her now loose hair. "You scared me. What are you doing here?"

I begin to move towards her, only my legs feel like jelly and it's as though the world seems to be tilting on its axis; I grab the light-post beside me for support and balance.

"Sorry for startling you," I say softly, aware of just how slurred my words sound. "You said to go 'for now' and I decided...that 'for now' is over."

Ella's mouth twitches with my words, as if she wants to smile.

Smile, pretty girl. Go on and smile for me.

She quickly composes herself, and instead of giving me a smile, she sighs. "Harry, you can't be here," Ella speaks, and I feel my heart slowly sink into my chest. "You're so drunk you can barely stand straight, I can call you an Uber."

No way. I haven't waited to see her again so long just for her to thrust me aside.

I shake my head quickly — perhaps a bit too quickly — and I begin to walk towards her, but stop in my tracks once I see her back away. My heart drops.

"I want to be where you are," I reply honestly, running my hand through my curls. I don't care to hide how I feel anymore, I don't care about anything but her. 

I want to be in her presence, I want to hear her laugh and smell her scent of cherry blossoms and vanilla, I want to cradle her cheeks between my palms and kiss those sweet, delicious lips all night.

Aurelia looks as though she wants to say something, but again, she closes herself off and shakes her head. "I'm headed to the subway," she says curtly, and her tone or voice causes another pitfall deep within my stomach.

She turns away from me and walks ahead. I don't think twice in following her — I know she can hear my drunken footsteps.

"Or," she begins, "I can call us an Uber and drop you home on the way."

I hurriedly walk to catch up to her, falling into step beside her. "Probably not a good idea for me," I mumble, and swear underneath my breath when I trip over my feet. "I c-can...call Tom."