Infinite [h.s.]

11. dreams & nightmares

🎵Bloodline — Luke Hemmings

tw: mentions death, depression, suicide

your mental health is just as important as your physical health. please be kind and gentle to yourselves. the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you! all the love always, my messages are always open. i'm so, so, so fucking proud of you.

"H-Harry."

A soft, far-away sounding voice pulls me from my dreamless sleep — or maybe I am dreaming.  I have to be; the voice is familiar, but I've never heard it in this way before.

"Harry..." The heartbreaking whimper calls again, and I come to, my eyes instantly flashing open with the raw emotion from that voice.

It does feel like a dream; the room is barely lit with the tall skyscrapers and lights of the city, and as my eyes adjust further to the darkness, my mind finally decides to tear itself entirely from my slumber.

Aurelia.

She's wearing my shirt, and it falls cutely to her thighs. But, I don't spend too long taking in that image — my eyes immediately wander up to her face.  I can't see her pretty eyes amidst the darkness of my bedroom, but I can tell they're a bit swollen. Her cheeks are red and she sniffles, the tears glinting with the small light that's shining on her face.

She's crying.

I immediately sit up, scanning my eyes across her body for any signs of injury. I don't see anything visible...is she hurt?

My heart aches again when she takes in a shaky breath, reaching a hand up to wipe a single tear that's streaked down her cheek. I want to reach out, to comfort her, to keep her safe from whatever's tainted her free spirit.

What happened?

"Ella?" I speak softly, my voice raspy from the sleep that I was just in. "Love, what's wrong?"

I want to tread lightly, but I can't help myself when I open my arms out. I nearly let loose a sigh of relief when Aurelia doesn't hesitate in crossing the room and coming into my arms. She immediately buries her face in my chest, her hot tears falling against me as she cries softly.

"You're okay," I whisper softly, gently brushing her hair back as her body shakes with her sobs. "You're okay."

My heart twists in my chest; what's gotten her like this?

This beautiful, carefree, wild and golden woman — what's dimmed her light?

"I had a n-nightmare," Ella says in between her sobs, her voice small and muffled from where she hides her face against me. "About my mother."

Her mother.

I think back to all the times she's spoken and opened up about her life in Arizona, about her mum, how she gets that distant, bittersweet look on her face as if she's longing for memories from a far gone time. I know she's spoken about her mum in the past tense, and I know that it is a subject Aurelia doesn't delve into whenever it's brought up, so I've never pushed or prodded her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly, continuing my gentle stroking of her hair. Aurelia is quiet for a few minutes before she speaks again.

"I don't know," she answers truthfully, sniffling a bit. "Can you...is it okay if you just hold me for a little?"

Ella raises her head up to look at me as she asks this, and her tear-stricken face along with the gentle question causes the warmth to surge through me.