Infinite [h.s.]

14. antidote

🎵Golden — Harry Styles (duh)
🎵Golden (cover) — Cannons

"Dude, it's 1pm here," Mitch complains over the phone, groaning over the speaker as he adds, "and I'm still nursing a hangover from last night." I can hear him shuffle as he speaks, "what's going on? Everything okay?"

"No, Mitch," I sigh, turning over in bed, "Everything is not okay."

I glance out at the windows, out towards the brightening sky. It's just a little over eight in the morning, and the sun is now beginning to peek out over the skyline. Its rays reflect off of the tall buildings, casting light and glitters across the horizon; bright and radiant — golden.

Golden, golden, golden as I open my eyes.

Since yesterday, the lyrics have been rushing through my mind, like an endless stream.

Actually, since I've waken up this morning, I can't seem to get the image of her out of my head — the way her honey colored eyes lit up as I pulled up to the sunflower field, the adorable little squeal that erupted from her lips, the way she clapped her small hands in excitement.

"The hell do you mean 'everything is not okay?'" Mitch asks over the phone, his voice slightly rising in concern. "Are you hurt, man? Does—"

"It's her," I cut him off, screwing my eyes shut. Even doing this doesn't rid thoughts of her — when I close my eyes, I'm met with the image of molten honey irises.

"I...we went on a date yesterday," I add, and Mitch perks up with this. Nursing a hangover, yeah right.

"A date? With Aurelia?" He asks, and I can practically hear the damn grin through his voice.

"No, the other Aurelia," I say with a sarcastic roll of my eyes. "Yes, Aurelia! And..."

"And?"

"And it was pretty fucking amazing, Mitch," I groan again, tossing the pillow over my face.

"I don't understand why that means everything isn't okay, then," he speaks, and I can imagine the shake of his head, the look of confusion that must be plastered across his features. "You're being dramatic."

"I started writing a song," I speak against the pillow, my voice sounding muffled, but I know Mitch hears me. I've got the first verse and chorus down so far, but I knew before I continued I just had to tell Mitch about it.

The moment I got back to my place after dropping her off, I thought back to the one phrase that had been playing through my mind over and over these past few weeks — I don't want to be alone.

After yesterday, I know that I'm a complete fuckin' goner. And now more than ever, I don't think I would want to go back to what life was like before meeting her. It would be dull, lifeless — a stark contrast to the radiance and vibrance that Ella brings.

Yesterday, she had thrown her arms around my neck, squeezing me tightly when we arrived to the field, which took me completely off guard; I hadn't expected her to do that. It felt so good, so natural to wrap my arms around her tiny frame as she held me for that split second.

Hold it, focus, hoping, take me back to the light,
I know you were way too bright for me.

Aurelia -- how fitting that her name means golden. She's so bright and full of life; her radiance seems to fill her up and is utterly contagious, drenching and consuming the souls of everyone that's around her — consuming my soul.

She is golden, a golden girl.

"And how is that a bad thing?" Mitch asks, pulling me from my thoughts. "I thought we wanted to write music."