Steven Grant

Chapter 13

When I got home nobody was there.

Especially not Luna.

I was alone and before I entered my apartment I emptied my mailbox.

I usually found irrelevant letters in there there.

But this time there was only one letter inside.

The envelope was baby blue with little doodles drawn on it.

"For Steven's eyes only.  " was written on the envelope.

I put my bag aside and sat on my bed. 

Then I opened the envelope and read the letter that was inside of it.

"Dear Steven,

You will probably find it quite dramatic that I am writing you this letter instead of speaking to you personally.

But I'd probably forgive you for everything you did, as soon as I would stand right in front of you. 

And to be honest, I don't want that.

You don't owe anything to me.

We're not a couple, we never have been.

I can't expect you not to kiss other women, because you are free to do whatever you want.

Like I said, you're not my boyfriend.

I was just kind of hoping that my words would have meant something to you.

I was hoping that you actually love me as much as I love you.

I don't think that you should call or text me anymore.

You are and always will be the moon to my sun.

In my heart you will always be my favorite person.

I told you once that I would never leave you.

And I haven't. I may not be with you in person right now, but I will always be with you in spirit.

Ti voglio bene, Steven Grant. "

And despite her instructions not to call her, I couldn't help but call her.

To my surprise, she actually picked up the phone.

"I knew you would completely ignore the fact that I told you not to call me and still call me. "

"I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Well, now you did."

"Yes, I did. I know you don't want to see me but.."

"Yeah, I don't. Not really. "

"Hey, Steven? Stop calling my sister. But now that you've called, is Marc at home? "

"How about you give the phone back to your sister, Jo? Plus, I don't know where Marc is."

And then she just hung up.

"Steven, stop calling her. She doesn't want to talk to you. "

"I know, Marc. I know but I couldn't help it."

"The next time you try to call her, I will take your phone away. "

Marc was really getting on my nerves.

He was right of course, but I wish he wasn't right.

" She gave you not just one chance, but two chances. And you screwed it up both times."

"Leave me alone, Marc. I don't want to talk to you right now. "

"Yeah, you don't want to talk to me because you know that I'm right. And you don't want to admit to yourself that you broke your heart."

"I know what I did but you don't always have to remind me. "

"I think I have to remind you every second.
Simply because you must never forget that you don't kiss other people's wives  and especially not in front of the person who loves you. "

"You're never going to stop, are you?"

"No, not really. By the way, I cooked us dinner. I can't cook nearly as well as Luna, but I tried."

We had dinner and then Marc just left.

And I didn't question it.

I spent today's movie night all alone. 

After I finished watching the film, the doorbell rang.

It was Luna.

"I just want to get my jacket. May I come in?"

I let her in and she couldn't even look me in the eyes.

She didn't  look at me at all.

She just looked for her jacket and then snuck past me, to leave the flat as soon as she could.

"Luna.."

"What? What do you want from me Steven? "

" Will you please look at me? At least for a second ?"

And quite unexpectedly she actually did look at me.

She kept trying to avoid eye contact, but couldn't.

"I hate you for making it so hard for me to hate you, Steven."

"I love you, Luna. I really do. "

"And I love you. And that's exactly why I need to stay away from you."