Memories|DSMP

|This isn't Goodbye. It's a simple see you later|

The next few days had been hard. However Tommy had been by my side whenever things fell tough. He reminded me to keep fighting because I don't want to leave Tommy alone. I know he denies it all the time but, Watching Wilbur leave has been effecting him too. On some days he would arrive with a sniffle and puffy red eyes. But as always he continues to say he's ok. 

Today was different though. 

Tommy had visited me this morning as usual but this time his head hung low avoiding any eye contact with me.

"Toms?" I questioned worried about him as his body stiffened hearing my voice low. "Are you Ok?" I asked as I heard him sniffle.

Immediately my heart froze and crumbled hearing the boy break in front of me.

"Come here." I said as I opened my arms wide to which he slumped into covering the hoodie I was wearing that belonged to Wilbur in tears.

The room was quiet apart from the sniffles that come from Tommy.

"I just. Miss him you know. My brain tells me not to but my heart tells me other wise. The amount of shit he put me through but it's Wil you know he guided me like,  like A brother." The boy ranted to me with the tears still falling from his cheeks. 

I sat the two of us down and wiped away the tears from his cheeks with my thumb.

"What happened in Pogtopia Toms?" I asked softly not wanting to push the boy but wanting to comfort him. 

"Everything was good. Until the night you didn't come. Wilbur lost it I guess. He became stone cold and he lost care for those he loved and instead focused on L'manberg. It hurt seeing him blow up L'manberg, it felt like he- he gave up on us essentially and that I wasn't good enough for him." Tommy said as he broke down even further on his last sentence.

I felt guilty. Maybe if I showed up then this spiral of event wouldn't of happened and maybe, just maybe Wilbur would still be with us today and it would spare the heart break that Tommy and I was going through.

"Hey look at me. Wilbur is the type of person that when he puts his mind on something that he can't have, then he would rather nobody have it because then he failed less. Wilbur wouldn't be able to look at you knowing that he failed you and maybe you or I don't see it that way but whenever I looked at him after loosing the election and seeing Tubbo die, he wouldn't look at you or he would look at me with the most apologetic look laced in his eyes saying he fucked up or that he's sorry. Wilbur had so much success in his life and he doesn't want to fail. But when he does, the only thing he wants to do is disappear to never be seen again because then he wouldn't have to look at you, me or anybody for that matter and think he failed us." I said looking into the boy who looked lost.

"I just wish that it didn't have to come to loosing him." Tommy said as he looked up from the ground and for first time showing his drained eyes. For once the boy didn't hide his emotions and instead he showed his vulnerability.

"Me too." I agreed as we sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

 "I was going to visit him today, I think you should join me and maybe you'll feel better for doing so." I said standing up and holding out my hand to which the boy gladly accepted as for first time he was going to visit his brother like figure since loosing him.

---- (Song to go with this is 'not about angels')

We picked some pansies from the open field. Pansies were his favourite. He used to always bring a bunch home form his outings and place them in a vase for the camarvan.

I handed half to Tommy as I signalled for him to place them next to the bunch I placed at the headstone that rested in the room he was slain in. I smoothed over the top of his headstone and placed my forehead against it like me and Wilbur used to do. I also kissed my hand and placed it over the headstone.

"I love and miss you." I said keeping this one short and snappy knowing that I will visit later in order to rant and fall asleep next to him. It was hard coming to terms that he would never say 'I love you' back because it was no longer possible.

I grabbed the dead flowers from past visits and stood back waiting for Tommy.

Tommy was hesitant. I could tell he was conflicted. He hadn't been here since and that was breaking him even more.

"I can't." He stated as he looked down at the flowers he held.

"It just feels like, I'm letting him go. And that saying goodbye makes this all the more real I guess. It's like i'm saying goodbye to him forever and I don't want to do that." Tommy spluttered as he looked at me apologetically.

I walked over to the fragile boy. 

"No. This isn't goodbye. This is a simple see you later." I said breaking down with him

"Because he will always, always be with us, because he's in here." I said as I gestured to the boys heart.

"You don't have to do this, I'm not forcing you but, a wise man once told me you've got to start moving on, not just for you but for Wilbur. He's not here anymore and I know that it's hard to comprehend that, but Wilbur would want you to live the happiest that you can and he will never leave us because he left behind a legacy that will continue to be told in all history lessons of L'manberg. Wilbur was our history and now he wont be in our future and as hard as it is to acknowledge this we have to try and look forward." I spoke as I remembered the things Phil had told me that gave me the strength I needed to persevere through the tough journey life had threw at me.

Tommy nodded at me and embraced himself around me. The boy was no longer in his tough skin but showed he was human and that everybody has emotions, some show them and some put up their walls and Tommy had broken the walls that protected his emotions and instead reached out for the help he needed, and for that I was proud and I knew that Wil would've been to.

I released his body from the hug and looked at him and then at Wils grave. Tommy bit down on his lip building up the courage he needed.

"You got this." I whispered encouraging him.

He slowly picked up his feet, clutching onto the flowers we picked. He kneeled down infront of the gravestone and placed down the Pansies. My smile grew as I watched Tommy begin to speak at his grave.

"Hey Wil. I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner but man's a pussy. But Millie helped me.

- I miss you big man. Like a lot actually. I will take care of her for you Wilbs." Tommy said as  he did his and Wilburs handshake on his headstone.

Tommy turned to me just as I was wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Wow you're such a puss." He sarcastically said as he wrapped his arm over my shoulder showing our height difference.

"Yeah yeah Toms." I said laughing at him as the two of us walked away from the one we loved and will always love.

I looked up at the brightest star to see it sparkle brighter than ever. 

it was like he told me he loved me back. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

Holy shit that was a sad one to write lmao. Hope you enjoyed it and things are only going to get sadder. Lets just say a little ghost friend may be bringing us something in the next chapter.

Just want to thank all of you for 1K reads it means so much :))

Anyway stay safe all.