The Passion Rose (Clockwork x Fem reader)

Chapter 10

Y/n's POV

I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed. All I could do was just lay there worthlessly, counting down the hours until I die of old age. No one knocked on my door to check if I was okay. Clockwork didn't knock on my door to ask if we could try and talk it out. Honestly, I think she has more self respect than that.

I couldn't even get up to get food. I just laid on my back, my left hand rested on my stomach while feeling the vibrations of my stomach crying out of hunger. All I could think of was at least dying of hunger is faster than dying of old age I suppose.

I would think Jane would be the first and only person to notice, and would bring me food and check in on me. But then I remembered she is spending time with her wife, and she doesn't get to do that often since Boss limits her time with her because her wife is still considered an "outsider".

The only reason why Boss even lets her see her is because they were already married when he accepted Jane as a creepypasta, and Jane drove him crazy just so she could hug her again. Plus he does see her wife as a potential creepypasta, he is just waiting on the operator's response.

But I don't want Jane to worry about me, and I think me being alone is the best. Everything would still be going well if only I ignored my obvious feelings for Clockwork, left her and Toby's relationship alone, and didn't let Clockwork and I's relationship go anywhere past best friends. Actually, I think it would be okay if I was more polite to Toby when that thing happened between me and him, then he wouldn't think there was a reason for literally brainwashing her.

It's my fault for letting myself get so attached, and fall so deeply in love. It was so obvious that she still liked him! I was just too blind to see that she didn't and never will feel that way about me, I just wish she told me straight up instead of leading me on. And after all, that sex we had is and would forever be known as "meaningless sex". Honestly I dunno why that part bothers me too.

I decided to try and force myself to sleep, even being present in this world is exhausting to me. So I closed my eyes and tried to daydream about something positive, like people turning into beautiful purple butterflies and flying around dropping lucky dust on everyone, making everyone have a lucky year. I smiled at the daydream.

I really need a lucky butterfly right now.

Clockwork's pov

I couldn't convince myself to get out of bed. I got dumped on the first day of a relationship on which I thought would actually work out. I thought that I would be able to experience an actual relationship that doesn't revolve toxic, controlling, manipulative partners.

I'm not saying Y/n is any of those things, but sometimes I think she lets her overthinking take over and it makes her act out of emotion. Or she actually thinks we wouldn't work out. Even if Y/n said so herself we wouldn't work out, I can't force myself to agree. I want to try and talk it out with her, and make things right again, but I don't want to be snapped at. And I think she wants her space right now.

I heard a knock on my door and knew immediately it was Toby, what does he want right now? "Can't come in, Clockwork is out on killing duty right now! Knock later!" He ignored the message and opened the door without hesitation. He was holding on one hand a tray with a cup of water and a ham and cheese sandwich.

He entered the room and looked around, closing the door behind him. He sat the tray on the edge of my bed and sat at the other side, looking at me with an expression I struggle reading, "You haven't been out of bed all day, so I decided to make you lunch. Want to tell me what's going on?"