Returning To You

chapter 18- ❝unwanted❞

I wake up and go to make my way to eat something for breakfast. On my way out I see Ivey and Malia hugging Valeria while Jaxon and Alvaro watch them with so much adoration. My chest tugs painfully wishing I could have that type of love from anyone.

Again I find myself seeing how they don't need me. My parents have eachother. Malia has that girl from the masquerade ball, Ivey had Alvaro, Valeria has Jaxon. They can all get together and be so happy and that leaves me in the back like I was my whole life.

It would hurt to see her with someone else but if it makes her happy than that's all that matters. I'm sure she doesn't want me it's just pure lust. She would never love me how I loved her she only would love the pleasure I can bring her in the moment she would want that.

That's all anyone wants from me.

With that I make my way back into my room and make it dark. I crawl into the bed and fall asleep. I don't even have Jagger to comfort me because his bitch-ass loves Valeria. That dog is annoying.

𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗬𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗗𝗔𝗬 Emilio has been trapped in his room. It's really starting to piss me off. Why does he always fucking do that everyone we get close he distances himself like I'm some disease.

I make my way up to his room and don't bother to knock as I open the door and see it's pitch black and he's curled onto his bed staring at the wall.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?," I question looking at him. He continues to stare at the wall in a daze. "Anytime we start to get along and be nice to each other you start to distance yourself," I yell at him feeling annoyed.

"You think that I want to be like this?," he yells as he props himself up to look at me. "Yeah I do because you keep ruining everything by yourself you distance yourself, you get mad at me, you ignore me," I say.

"Maybe their is a fucking reason for that, you ever take into consideration that not everything is fucking about you?," he questions. I reel back have I been selfish to only care about myself and not see that he might be hurting on the inside?

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way but when you don't tell me shit how am I supposed to figure out why you act this way?," I question and he rolls his eyes before laying down on the bed. "Because I'm not ready I said I will come to you when I'm ready," he says.

"Well when are you going to be ready because I've been waiting so fucking long for you to tell me," I say standing there. "If it bothers you so fucking much give me a few days and I'll have it laid out on the table for you since you need to know so fucking bad," he says. "Whatever" I roll my eyes before leaving.

He gets on my fucking nerves so much. All I want to know is why he acts like that and he keeps dragging it out like it's something so bad he probably just likes to be alone.

I make my way to the living room seeing everyone there. "Why do men have to be such cunts," I say and they all look at me. "What did my husband do if he cheated on me I'm gonna end his life," Alvaro says feigning hurt.

"What happened," Jaxon says. "Nothing important he's just sulking in his room for no reason," I say and roll my eyes. "Did he say why," Jaxon asks. "No he just always distances his self from me when something good happens," I say and look away. "Oh, lemme go talk to him," Jaxon says hurriedly.

Maybe he knows what Emilio is hiding and is going to help him. I don't know and I don't care. "Does anyone want to go to the clubs tomorrow," I question. "Me," Ivey and Malia say. I nod my head.

This is gonna be fun I have the perfect plan in place to make him mad and maybe something will happen out if it if you know what I mean.

                  𝗝𝗔𝗫𝗢𝗡 𝗜𝗦 𝗦𝗢 annoying but he's right. "You need to tell her. I know you struggled telling me but you need to tell her because she doesn't know why you react this way and do that to yourself," he says while sitting next to me.

"I know but what if I'm not ready and it brings all the bad memories back and I have a panic attack while trying to tell her," I say. "You won't just be honest with her that's the best thing you can do," he says. "I'll tell her in a few days maybe 3-4 days" I say. He nods before leaving.

I go into my office to see how things are going with the Russians. Everything is ready here for them to attack we just need to keep training ourselves. They come here in 22 days and we need to be ready because this is going to be a big battle.

Here's chapter 18. I wanted to apologize if the book is going to fast or to slow for you I'm trying to make this book a slow burn. This book is also going steps forward and back because they have a lot of issues they need to face before being happy so I'm really sorry if it's going to slow or fast for you but I promise I'm doing my best. The secret will be revealed soon and it will pick up more once that is revealed. Again I'm sorry if I'm not doing good enough I'm really trying my best. This is my first book it's obviously not gonna be perfect but I just wanted to say this because someone had told me the book is going to slow so I just wanted to apologize.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate if you don't I hope you have a great day as well.

Hope you enjoyed reading, and see you next time!!