Set Ashes In Flames

In Flames 29: Long Term

In Flames Twenty Nine

Gianna

The peace and rest I felt was interrupted when I feel someone on top of me. Parang may nakadagan sa aking dibdib. Hindi ako makahinga sa kanyang lakas at bigat.

My eyes, though fighting to keep sleeping, I forced it to open.

Ang una kong nahagip ay ang amoy ng gamot. At nakaramdam din ako ng lamig, na parang airconditioned ang aking silid. Kailan pa lumamig ang aking kwarto?

Sa sandaling pagmamatyag ay alam kong nasa ospital ako. Ngayong alam ko na kung nasaan ako ay tumingin ako sa aking ibabaw upang malaman ang pinagmulan ng bigat na nararamdaman. Bago ko pa siya makita ay nauna kong naramdaman ang kanyang mainit na paghinga sa aking pisngi.

My stomach heaved at the eyes I met.

"Shhh..." his index finger is on his lips. I tensed at the familiar scene. Nilingon ko ang aking ulo sa paligid . Did they leave me alone at the hospital? I can't fault them for that. May mga trabaho sila at hindi maaaring ipagpaliban yon.

Napasinghap ako nang makita si ate Gladys na walang malay sa sahig.

"Look at me, Gianna. Nasa akin lang dapat ang atensyon mo." Using his index finger, Dexter tilted my face to look at him.

"H-h'wag, please. T-tama na, Dexter. Kinuha mo na sa akin ang..." napalunok ako. He may not have taken me fully years ago, but he surely left me with nothing. Dahil hindi ko na kayang gawin yon kasama ang iba. It will always remind me of him.

"Don't you like my body, Gianna? Am I not enough to make you stay? To like me?" he whispered desperately. "I can't forget how you smiled at my friend in front of me. Like there is another."

Sa gitna ng takot ko ay may napapansin ako. Why was it always about him? Simula pa noong una kong siyang nakilala ay ganito na siya. Like he wants attention. Na parang gusto niyang inaangat palagi ang kanyang sarili. Na parang kailangan niya ng validation ko. Masyado bang mataas ang ego niya?

I need to get on his good side so tht he won't be a threat to me.

"D-Dexter... you're a... great guy..." dahan dahan kong sinabi kahit na wala na akong ibang gustong gawin kundi ang bawiin ang mga sinabi ko. He doesn't deserve to be called anything good for what he did.

Gumaang ang kanyang itsura sa narinig.

"B-but-"

Bumalik ang talim sa kanyang ekspresyon.

"But?!" Bumulyaw siya habang idiniin niya ang aking balikat sa kama. Mahigpit ang hawak niya sa akin, palagay ko ay magkakaroon ako ng pasa. "I'm the right man for you! No buts! I have everything you could ask for, Gianna. You are such an unsatisfied and ungrateful slut!"

Pain stabbed my chest at how he regarded me.

"Say it, Gianna!"

What did he want me to say?

I let out a terrified sob. Whatever hopes I had about controlling the situation dissipated to thin air. My eyes darted between Dexter and ate Gladys.

"You were always like this, Gianna. Shutting me off just before I can speak or do something. Do you just enjoy the feeing of being prioritized but never reciprocate?" he said harshly.

Kumunot ang aking noo dahil sa sinasuggest niya. I never did that to him. I knew we never could have worked dahil parang palagi lang siyang nakafocus sa sarili niyang satisfaction. And now that I'm looking back, halos hindi niya nga ako kilalanin noon. He always found a way to make it about him or how good he is. Na parang lagi niyang ineendorso ang sarili niya. Like he always has to remind me how promising he was.