Set Ashes In Flames

In Flames 26: Make It Count

In Flames Twenty Six

Gianna

Victoria pulled me closer until there was no more space between our bodies. I could feel her breathing with her chest against me.

"N-noong lumabas ako ng... restroom at-"

"I fucking knewsomething happened in there!" she interjected, sounding both angry and guilty. Mas umiyak ako dahil bakit siya nagagalit? Hindi ba siya mandidiri? Hindi niya ba sasabihin na alam ko namang mas nadedepina ng suot ko noon ang katawan ko?

"A-ang sabi ko non sayo nung dinala mo ako sa bahay niyo, sana ay hindi ka mawala sa akin. This is why, Victoria. I am dirty. Someone has already touched me here..." I pointed at my chest then looked down. "And down there..."

"He raped you in the restroom!"

"Not yet," umiling ako. "His hand massaged my boob in the restroom. When I got out of the cubicle. he was already there. Then he trapped me against the wall and started touching my chest. Idinidiin pa niya ang kanya sa akin. And he has a video on his phone. Kung magsumbong daw ako ay lalabas 'yon."

Bumigat ang kanyang paghinga. Na parang any moment ay sasabog siya. Pero nagsumikap siyang kontrolin ang sarili. Instead, she squeezed my waist, telling me to continue.

"The second time he touched me was at my home. Inside my room. The place I considered the safest in the world. But he took that sense of safety away. Pumunta siya roon kasama ang kanyang parents. At that time, ang alam nila mommy at daddy ay nagkakamabutihan kami at nanliligaw si Dexter sa akin. Hindi ko masabi sa kanila ang nangyari dahil may hawak na video si Dexter. He asked where the comfort room was. Inutusan ako nila mommy na ako na raw ang magturo kung saan. Sa halip na sa restroom nga ay pinilit niya akong pumunta sa kwarto ko. H-he locked the door, pushed me on the bed. I tried fighting him but he trapped me again..." I sobbed, remembering the pain like a fresh wound. Ilang sandali kong hindi naituloy ang pagkukwento. I just cried in Victoria's arms. Thankfully, she did not speak. Naramdaman niya sigurong kailangan ko ito.

Lumunok ako bago nagpatuloy.

"He used my comforter to... muffle my screams. He put his fingers inside me. All I felt was pain and shame. Habang nagmamakaawa ako ay wala siyang pakialam. He made me orgasm twice. He could've done further if not for kuya Vance. Nakita niya kami at napigilan niya si Dexter. Pati yon ay may video rin. Two videos he can use against me if I speak. I can't do that to my family, Victoria. Mas maayos na kung ako lang ang madudungisan dito. But my parents are well known."

I held her while I still can. I do not know when my permission to touch her will expire. Siguro ay nagsisink in pa sa kanya ang impormasyon. At kapag napagtagpi tagpi niya na ito'y mapapagtanto niyang marumi akong babae. She will not want me anymore. Baka nga sabihin niya uli na pinaglalaruan niya lang din ako ngayon para hindi na ulit ako lumapit sa kanya.

Before she refuses to hear me out and see reason, sasabihin ko na ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko. So that when this ends, I won't regret that I let things go unsaid. Umayaw man siya sa akin ay pinagkakatiwala ko sa kanya ang sikreto ko. She may despise me, but I know she's not the type to act irrationally towards the people she hates.

"Natakot din ako dahil baka layuan mo ako..." I chuckled softly just thinking about how childish and ridiculous my next words will be. "Way before all of that happened. Before he touched me, I wanted to reserve myself for you. Hindi naman siguro supresa sa'yo na gusto kita. I did not mean it when I said you were just for thrill, Victoria."

I held her face with both of my hands, because I wanted her eyes on me as I profess my love and all things I wished I could do with her one day.

"I fell in love with you, truly," a tear fell and my sight blurred. But I did not bother wiping it. "But Dexter threatened me. Na kapag hindi kita nilayuan at pumunta sa kanya ay ilalabas niya ang video at gagawin niya rin sa'yo ang ginawa niya sa akin. I did not want you to suffer the same fate. You were ambitious and driven. I know how far you can make it in life. Pero kung gagawin niya 'yon sa'yo, you'll lose your light and fire like I did. And I cannot do that to you. Never you, my love."