Big Shepherd, Little Shepherd

XLVII

YOUR POV

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have questions. Why didn't she message? Why did it take her so long to come back? Why should I let her back into my life? I'm talking to someone and we're going on dates. You remember Caitlyn, right? The one I was seeing before Rowan went off to college and left because I have a history with drugs. She's a professor, you remember, right? Yeah well we reconnected and we're kind of seeing each other. It's going really well and she asks about Isabella. I had to cancel a date with her to do this Q&A equivalent.

- Carina : Hello

- y/n : Come in. Dinner's in the oven

- Carina : You cook now?

- y/n : I have an active 9 year old. I learnt how to cook so she wasn't stuck on chicken nuggets and potato smileys

- Carina : Oh

- y/n : Mhm

This is awkward. I'd much rather be on my date right now. Caitlyn keeps texting me and it keeps going through to my watch, Carina definitely thinks I'd rather be anywhere but here.

- Carina : We both lost Andrea-

- y/n : That's the thing, we both lost Andrew. The ones person who never second guessed me and he went and got himself killed because he cares about everyone else too much. Loosing your brother is no excuse because I lost my brother and I lost your brother.

- Carina : I always thought about you. Holding you. Cherishing you. I wanted to message

- y/n : But you never did. I stayed here and I raised your niece, my daughter. Do you know how many times she's cried because she doesn't know her dad? Too many. And I can't tell her to go ask Auntie Carina because you weren't exactly around

Don't get too angry y/n.

- Carina : I want to be in your life, Isabella's life. I want to be your girlfriend and maybe your wife one day

- y/n : Carina

- Carina : Tell me that if I kissed you, you wouldn't enjoy it

- y/n : Carina stop

- Carina : I love you y/n. After all these years I'm still in love with you

- y/n : I'm-

- Caitlyn : You have me a heart attack. You're not allowed to stop answering your texts. Hey baby. Hi, I'm Caitlyn but everyone calls me Katie

- Carina : Carina

- Caitlyn : As in Carina your ex? Sheesh. Sorry I'm here unannounced, my cat is being a dickhead

- y/n : You're bleeding

- Caitlyn : Yeah. Cat's being a dickhead. I'm going to go clean up then go upstairs so I'm not in your way

I hadn't gotten round to tell Carina I was seeing someone. It's not official between me and Caitlyn either so am I obligated to tell her? She was going to kiss me though.

- Carina : She called you baby

- y/n : Yeah

- Carina : You're together?

- y/n : Yes and no

- Carina : You didn't tell-

- Isabella : MOMMM

I don't know what Isabella is doing here, she's supposed to be at the park with Arizona and Amelia. She doesn't want anything to do with Carina.

- Carina : Hello bambina. It's nice to meet you

- Isabella : Go away

- y/n : Bells-

- Isabella : YOU LEFT MY MOM AND YOU LEFT ME. I HATE YOU. SHE NEEDED YOU AND YOU LEFT. SHE'S BEEN GREAT TO ME BUT SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE. I HATE YOU

- y/n : Bells, sweetie. Calm down

- Caitlyn : I'll take her upstairs. Come here. Let's go

- Isabella : Mom?

- y/n : I'll be upstairs in a minute

Well that was an unexpected outburst. I've never seen Isabella yell like that.

- y/n : I think it's best if you go

- Carina : I'm sorry

- y/n : So am I

Why am I apologising? I don't even know. Bro what the fuck? Okay. Let's go sort Bells out. She doesn't really know Caitlyn so I don't know how comfortable she is around her.

- y/n : Hey. I'm here

- Isabella : Is she taking me away?

- y/n : No. You're my baby. I'm not letting you go

- Isabella : Mom

- y/n : Yeah?

- Isabella : I love you

- y/n : I love you too

She's tired. I need to text Amelia telling her not to worry because Bells is home now. Caitlyn is also here so spontaneous date night?

- y/n : I'm sorry you had to take Bells upstairs. She's never exploded like that

- Caitlyn : It's fine. Is something in the oven?

- y/n : Mhm. Pasta Bake

- Caitlyn : Is it almost done? I'm fucking starving

- y/n : Yeah it's just being kept warm, it's not actually cooking anymore

Serve up the pasta and take it through to the dining room. It's great having a dining room, people think I'm posh.

- Caitlyn : Oh wow. This is good. You're good.

- y/n : Thanks

- Caitlyn : So that's your ex?

- y/n : Mhm

- Caitlyn : She's hot

- y/n : Are you hitting on her?

- Caitlyn : No, no. It's just, you're dating me but you could have her. It just makes me feel a little bit insecure

- y/n : I'm with you though

- Caitlyn : Only because she wasn't around or in contact with you

- y/n : Stop overthinking. I'm with you. Bells loves you and you're not going anywhere, right?

- Caitlyn : I'm not leaving

That's good. I'm not leaving either. I'm moving on with my life. Without Carina.

Authors Notes
Have a drink and
snack please