The Princess of Hell (Raf x Sulfus) /Angel's Friends fanfic/

Chapter 10 - Without You

Why did she want to forget her real life so badly?...

I still remember it all. Regardless of the fact that so much time passed.

Even though it feels like a past life, I remember it all.

It felt like a never-ending nightmare.

There was no light in Sulfur City. There were only flames and devils.

It felt like an eternity as a devil was rather a curse than a blessing.

I was just different from the rest. I was simply the best.

I was so lonely. Deep inside, I was hurting.

And there was no one to help me.

I looked at my smiling Raf. Her eyes melted the ice in my heart every time I looked at them.

She was not there. She was simply not there!

And that made the whole difference.

I missed her so much. I would look forward to each new mission that I had with her, because this was the only way I was able to meet her. Even though we had to compete with each other and see who would manage to tempt or help humans on Earth, I never really cared about the result.

All I cared about was the time I got to have with her.

She was simply irresistible.

"Sulfie, darling, what are you thinking about?" She said and gently stroked my cheek with the starlet. "You seem so quiet this morning."

I'm thinking about the times when I was without you.

"I'm thinking about the past. Strange times they were."

I'm sorry, Raf, but I really need to know what had happened to you.

"Strange? Why so? Nothing strange, we were always there for each other, and we were happy together. What's so strange about that, my love?"

She calls competing with each other "happy together"?

"Were you really happy when you had to save Andrea from evil... from me?"

"What? Save her?"

"Him. Wait, you've already forgotten him?"

"Sulfie, I don't know what you're talking about, really. Are you sure that this wasn't just your dream or something?"

So she doesn't remember anything about that, neither.

"You know, Raf, that devils are liars, right?"

Raf looked at me questioningly. She seemed a little confused.

"Yes, but me and you, we are an exception, Sulfie. We never lie to each other."

"But doesn't this make us angels, because only angels never lie to each other?"

Raf said nothing. She just threw herself in my arms. I startled and looked at her. She had closed her eyes fiercely, as if trying to run away from something.

"I don't want to hear this word anymore! We're in Hell, and angels are our biggest enemy!"

She was really frightened, so I decided not to ask her any more questions. So we stayed curled up in each other. My thoughts were only fixed in her until her breath became steady, and she was calm again. But she spoke no more. So I had a little time to think. And I teleported myself into the times when I was without her once again.

I kept my love secret. There was no one I could speak to about it.

Because it was illegal.

I often spent the lunch break, the pause between morning and afternoon classes, on my own in my room. Kabale sometimes got on my nerves when she tried to get me out of the room. To have fun, she would say. Not to be lonely. She claimed that and she wanted me to believe her that she cared about me. But I knew she was lying. After all, she was a devil. And devils were egoistic beings. Awfully thinking about themselves all the time. So I knew that she wanted me to come because of her own egoism. I didn't know why her egoism would want me to be there with the others, but I couldn't care less, so I never thought too deeply about it.

Anyway.

As I was saying, I would stay in my room a lot those times. Lying on bed like that:

Playing games to kill time.

But even while playing those games, my mind wandered back and forth in a loop.

And I was back into the endless abyss.

I used to sigh a lot. Happy to know that there was no one around to hear me sighing like a little girl. But sometimes the longing was so strong that I couldn't help sighing like a little girl in love.

Sometimes I thought I was going crazy. And I knew that if Raf was around, if ONLY Raf was around during those times, I wouldn't have left her dwell in any other room except mine.

It felt like I was miles away from her, even though we were closer to each other, both spiritually and physically. Maybe I was just too proud to accept the truth and go follow her around. Or I was too shy. Or I was simply fighting against my own feelings, unwilling to accept my love for her, turning it into a fantasy that I lived with just so that I could throw it away and live without it.

But there wasn't anything in this world that I could dream about more than being with Raf. The thought haunted me whenever I was left alone.

I even bought two rings... Not wedding rings, but they did resemble wedding rings, just so that I could feel what would be like... If I got married to Raf.

Which was of course unthinkable. But I was living in a fantasy, as I said, and inside this balloon, everything was possible, so I felt free to imagine even the impossible.

No sooner had I bought those rings that I finally realized, dearest Raf...

...That I couldn't live without you.

I caressed Raf's hair. I was grateful that she chose that path.

Even though she literally threw her life away by risking it and forgetting it all...

I was grateful.

...O, Raf! Life would have been so, so, so meaningless without you!...