GIVEN | ENHYPEN

ーwe missed you

My brain was suddenly filled with all these ideas of what the answer could be before ultimately apologising out loud to myself.

We promised to respect each other's privacy. I'm so sorry, Della.

I unlocked the device and opened Katalk first.

Oh mad and worried is an understatement when I saw what a blocked contact sent her.

'Kang Della. Stay away from the boys of Enhypen. Know your place. They might think you're their everything now but not for long. They'll soon find girlfriends, get married and replace you. Stop thinking so highly of yourself, their hearts won't forever be with youㅋ' Fucking hell.

The door to her room opened and she entered with her semi-wet hair. She stood frozen for a few seconds, staring at me and the phone in my hand. Though she didn't look surprised- her eyes just turned even more sad.

She made her way over to me after quietly shutting the door. Her gaze stayed on the floor the whole time.

"Can you look at me?" I asked. I saw her shut her eyes for a bit before making eye contact. Her eyes were glossy. "Care to explain? Or do you want me to guess and you tell me if I'm right?"

"I'm sure you know," she whispered out. God, seeing her like this really hurts like shit.

"Someone messaged you to stay away from us. You blocked the contact but it's too late because the words have already affected you. You didn't tell anyone- not even management, which you know is important, because you don't want to be a 'burden.' But you still feel bad so you left your phone here, silently wishing that one of us would open it and find out ourselves. Am I wrong?" she could only reply with a small nod as a tear escaped.

Even after opening up to the group, I know that she still holds back. She's trying her best but it's definitely not that easy.

I know that she still attempts to calm herself down whenever she needs to cry. I know that she still likes puts others' needs first, even when she can barely handle it. I know that she misses her family and old friends but is afraid to admit it because it might hurt Niki and I's feelings.

"Why, Delle?"

"I was hoping that you would hate me enough to break up with me and find a new girl?" oh my poor baby.

"Baby, that's ridiculous," I put down her phone and wrapped my arms around her. "We love you and we won't just do that."

"Well maybe you should so you can actually find someone that you don't have to sha-" Della no..

"Kang Della," I held her face in my hands. "Listen to me, okay?" she gave a small nod.

"We made the decision to share you ourselves. Every. Single. One of us agreed to it because we want to. We want you," I said in a firm tone. "We're happy like this, Delle. You brought us closer together and no one could ever give that to us. We're forever grateful and happy that you're ours."

"What if I'm not your forever though? What do we tell our parents? The media? The world?" she was actually crying now.

"I'm not gonna lie to you. The future is still very uncertain," I brushed away her tears. "But I can promise you, we will try our fucking hardest to make this work. We don't want anyone else, baby. Why would we when we have the most perfect soulmate?"

One of my hands slowly made its way to take out an item that has never belonged in Della's- or anyone's shower caddy.

"Jaeyun I-" she started to panic and her breathing started getting unstable. "I- I didn't-"

"Shh.. I know baby. I know you didn't. I'm not mad," I placed the paring knife on the desk before pulling her to my chest. "But you nearly did, right?" I felt her nod. "I know, Delle. I notice everything."

I know why Della likes to work out. Why she likes 'hamburgers'. Why she likes extremely hot things. Why she likes to push herself to the limit. Why she likes having a tight grip around her. Why she always offers to cut or grate things and why she always scratches her thighs- I know why she constantly seeks pain. She's trying to find an alternative to the habit she did years ago.

I notice all these things about her but can't even help much since it seems to make her feel worse. All we could really do is support and love her as she works on getting better herself.

I really felt like she was getting better and better- until that fucking message came and ruined it.

"I'm so fucking dumb for letting a stranger get to me like this. Fuck! I hurt the-" I cut her off with a kiss. She overthinks too much.

Not like I don't too but Della overthinks everything.

"Just explain it to them and apologise, yeah? You don't have to tell them about the knife but just make it up to them and don't forget to report to the company," I looked her in the eye and switched to my serious voice. "-and attend your fucking therapy. It's their actual job to help you, babe," yeah, I also know that she's been skipping therapy.

"Why would I need therapy when I can search up 'Enhypen Jake Aussie accent,'" she sniffled with a teasing smirk.

"You hear it every day! You're hearing it right now!" fuck then she looked at me with so much adoration that my eyes started to gloss. "Your bias is showing, baby," FUCK I missed her blushes so much. I'm actually tearing up.

"No it's not! I have seven biases! You just so happen to be the first person I- Jakey?!" her face was suddenly filled with concern.

Great. I was the only one who didn't cry these past three days but now I'm doing it over seeing Della.. blush?

"We missed you so fucking much!" I cried into her shoulder.

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