Chased Heart (The Brats #1)

Chapter 30

She slapped me.

I couldn't explain what I felt when her palm hit my face. It was my first time to be treated that way. And I never expected I'd experience that at my age... where rainbows and flowers were supposed to bloom.

They hated me so much to hurt me that way. I lost Sean. I lost them, too.

"I can't believe this..." she cried. "Why do these things have to occur all at once?!" She was down on her knees. "I can't do this... I can't!" 

I was crying. And I cried harder when she held both of my shoulders. She was trembling. I could see how fucked life was in her eyes. 

"Alanis... Why do you have to ruin everything?!" she shouted. "The only thing we always ask from you is to listen! Listen!" 

I wanted to run away, but her hold was so tight. 

"Why did you have to bring Sean with you? Huh?! Maybe... maybe Zeus was right. Alanis... siguro... sana ikaw na lang and mag-isang pumunta roon." 

She continued to speak, but I couldn't comprehend a word she said. My head was muffling her words. Everything was a hazy fog. Everything was monotonous.

"You're h-hurting me," nasabi ko dahil masyado nang mahigpit ang hawak niya sa akin.

Her nails dugged on my skin. Both physical and mental pain attacked me. It was unbearable, but I was trying. 

"Sana ikaw na lang!"

Nang makalayo ako sa kan'ya, umalis na ako. I took the chance to run away from them. From everyone wanting me to die. Kasi ramdam ko sa oras na 'yon, gusto ko na lang din totohanin ang kagustuhan nila. I was thinking that maybe it would make them better. But as I grew, I realize it won't. I dont' want them to live with guilt, thinking they are the reason of my death. 

Nurses tried to come to me.  The more they come closer, the faster I run. Sa mga oras na 'yon, si Sean ang gusto kong puntahan. He was so good at comforting. He always understands me. I was devastated. It was so hard to accept the truth. Especially that no one was helping me get through it. 

I stopped running when I saw Zoren. He stopped, too. He was crying and I felt even worse. Siguro dahil halos lahat ng nilapitan ko ay tinalikuran ako kaya naisip ko rin na tatalikuran ako ni Zoren, o mas masaklap ay ipagtatabuyan din. 

But he didn't. 

It made me cry when he chose courage to step closer to me rather than hatred. Mabilis ang naging pagyakap niya sa akin. 

"I've been looking for you," he whispered while crying. "Where have you been?" he tried to make his voice softer than usual, pero dama ko ang pagsusumamo roon. He was hurting just like everyone else. 

"I am sorry... I am sorry we lost Kuya Sean..." I cried while feeling the warmth of his embrace. 

"Shhh, it's not your fault. I believe you..." he whispered while hugging me so tight. 

Gusto kong isipin na naninwala nga siya, pero may kakaiba sa yakap niya. It was like he was convincing himself to believe in everything I said. Hindi siya naniniwala, pero sinusubukan niya. He's not fully blaming me, but a part of him still does. 

"I am sorry, Kuya! Sorry! I didn't like what happened. I-I promise..." 

Tumango siya nang tumango habang pinupunasan na ang pisngi ko. He looked so hurt. Hopeless. 

"No one liked it. Not even you. I know..." he whispered. "Don't believe them, okay? Don't believe... Zeus. He was just hurt. He didn't mean it. We love you, Alanis..." He assured me.