Chased Heart (The Brats #1)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

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It always takes courage to redeem the self you've once lost. The type of courage that isn't afraid to get away from its comfort zone.

I always say that I want to be alone. That I got used to being alone. I lied. I never wished to be alone. When I was a kid, I was showered with warm love and tender care. I never thought of being alone. To be with my family in my life was all that I wanted. Until everything changed.

The incident made me want to be alone. Forcefully. I had to want to be alone because I believed that whenever people come to me, bad things happen to them. Hindi ko na kayang masikmura na may masaktan ulit sa akin.

I had to want to be alone... because those times... staying around with my family will only hurt us both. They think so bad of me, and whenever we all see each other, we feel pain and grief we never wished to have.

Going to the hideout of Haris and his family, I was encouraged... that it wasn't really my fault. People just love putting the blame on someone when they couldn't blame anyone. When they couldn't find someone else to be blamed.

Alam ko rin na naibalik ko na ang kalahati ng pamilya ko sa akin. I hated the idea of them risking their lives for me, but the realization that they're willing to do it made me question myself.

Totoo ba lahat ng mga iniisip ko? Na hindi na nila ako mahal? Na masaya silang wala ako? O naramdaman ko lang 'yon dahil nasasaktan kaming lahat sa pagkawala ni Sean? At wala kaming ibang masisi kundi... ako.

Tiago, who never approached me after Sean's death unfreeze a part of my heart. Maybe I wasn't the only one who couldn't take up the courage to approach, too. Sila rin. Kapwa lang kami naghihintayan kung sinong unang lalapit. Naduwag kaming kahat. Nahiya.

"Alanis, your cousins wanted you to know they were outside the room while you were unconscious here inside your hospital room," malambing na bulong sa akin ni Mommy habang hinahagod ang ulo ko.

Magkatabi lang ang rooms namin ni Azriel. Until now, he's not waking up. I was worried, but the doctors assured me he is going to wake up anytime soon. I am happy that he's finally going to be conscious, but I am also scared and panicking inside.

I smiled at my Mom. My heart is so warm right now, but I feel sad at the same time.

"Your grandparents were here, too, baby. They were so glad you're safe. Lahat kami, anak. Magiging okay na ang lahat," she whispered gently.

Meijan was safe, too. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan na siya ngayon, pero alam kong magiging maayos na ang seguridad at buhay n'ya. Masaya ako para sa kan'ya.

Tulog pa si Daddy dahil kanina lang daw siya nakatulog. Mom went out to find Zoren. Tahimik sa loob dahil dalawa lang kami ni Daddy ang naiwan.

I realized... wanting to die at that moment was kind of selfish. Paano na lang sina Mommy? They already lost a child... and I don't think they could still cope once they lose me. I love them so much... I will never hurt them again.

When I leaned my back on my bed, my uncontrollable tears flow down. Isang malalim na paghinga ang pinakawalan ko. I feel relieved now, and I feel so great.

I want a new life. I want a new mindset. Gusto kong magbago... o siguro bumalik sa dating ako.

The door opened and I bit my lip when Hiraya's head popped out. I could hear their murmurs. Tuwang-tuwa ang puso ko. Gusto kong umiyak ulit. Gustong-gusto.

"Hi... Kumusta ka na?" she asked soothingly.

Nang makapasok na siya, sunod na pumasok na si Lorcan, Eccaias, Zage, ang triplets, si Mooze... at si Ashanti. Nag-iwas ng tingin si Ashanti. Kwento ni Mommy sa 'kin, iyak daw nang iyak si Ashanti nang malaman ang ginawa ni Tiago para sa akin. She was so scared to lose a brother, too. At naiintindihan ko siya... kung may sama ng loob sa puso niya.