Keeping Fantasia: The Third Book of the Fantasia Series

Chapter 129: And We're Live

Chapter 129: And We're Live

Queen Amalthea turned on the television.

WARNING.

THE TINKERTELL TALK SHOW MAY CONTAIN CRUDE INDECENT LANGUAGE,

SEXUAL DIALOGUE, SUGGESTIVE SITUATIONS, OR INTENSE VIOLENCE.

PARENTS ARE CAUTIONED THAT THIS PROGRAM

MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 17.

"Hm! Pinfeathers!" Archimedes drizzled butter over a gigantic tub of popcorn. Flying aside Amalthea, he scooched into the couch, wedged the popcorn between his legs, and munched fervently as theme music played.

"This show is nothing but gullyfluff!"

Amalthea did not comment. The Pendragon's DVR was mysteriously full of realty T.V. episodes and everyone knew Archimedes was the culprit. He loved trashy television. It gave him an irresistible opportunity to criticize.

Amalthea thought it was a callosal waste of time. She was mortal now. Time mattered to the second, and trashy T.V. was not how she wanted to spend it. 

However, Arthur had begged her to watch the guardians' interview with him, so she acquiesced.

Speaking of Arthur...

"They're late." Amalthea noted the clock. At her feet, Tiger and Talbot, the Pendragon's dogs, sighed for Arthur.  "Did Merlin say when they would return?"

Archimedes' cheeks bulged. "That....gulp....old baffffoon...gulp....shfaid....gulp...shomefing about...gulp...."

Poof! Blue smoke cascaded over the couch, depositing Merlin, Arthur, and Bran onto the cushions.

"Sorry we're late!" Arthur smooched Amalthea's cheek. Bending, he greeted his dogs. "What'd we miss?"

"Just the viewer discretion statement." Amalthea scanned the couch. "Where is Miss Mode?"

"Oh Edna..." Arthur increased the volume. "Merlin transported her to Kuzcotopia for a celebrity watch party. I had half a mind to place her under royal custody for shooting the guardians – don't ask, it's a long story – but she fulfilled her end of the bargain, so..."

Arthur draped an arm around his wife. "I let it go."

The show's episode teaser filled the screen. Tinkerbell's voice orated dramatically over high-school pictures of Peter, Ariel, Wendy, and Jim.  

Fantasia's guardians. Tinkerbell said. The good. The bad. The sexy. The ugly. Should they stay? Should they go?

Bran's eyebrows rose at a photo of Jim. "Is that a mug shot?"

"One his better ones." Arthur replied. "You should have seen his mug shot before the Battle to Give Fantasia. He and Peter got into a fist fight over Wendy and there was blood everywhere. Pretty sure Ariel electrocuted them at some point too, because they had first degree burns."

Bran almost laughed. "You're joking?"

"Nope." Arthur reached playfully across the couch. "Archimedes, pass the popcorn?"

Archimedes refused. He was very territorial over snacks.

"Come now Archimedes!" Merlin prodded with his wand. "There's more than enough to share and you've had too many snacks already! Bran – come fill a bowl for your parents!"

 Amalthea searched Arthur's face as Bran liberated them popcorn. 

"You seem well at ease. " she said. "Aren't you worried for the guardians?"

"Worried?" Arthur chuckled. Accepting the popcorn, he tossed a flake into his mouth. "To be honest with you Allie, I actually feel bad for Tinkerbell."

"Quite generous of you." Merlin burrowed into his snuggy. "I don't feel bad at all. Confounded pixie gets what she deserves."

"What do you mean?" Bran returned to his loveseat. "Do you really think Ariel will use her trident on Tinkerbell?"

Arthur and Merlin exchanged grins.

"Ohhhh Ariel won't strike first." Arthur smiled at the television. "She'll finish it, but she won't start it. You see Bran, I know the guardians. And if old rivalries haven't changed, Tinkerbell will get what she deserves.  And it will be no one's fault but her own."

Bran removed his crown. "I don't understand."

"You see --  " Arthur scooted excitedly toward the television. "Tinkerbell is going to target Wendy. Wendy is going to try to be the bigger person. That will make Tinkerbell mad. Mad enough to say or do something absolutely vile. When that happens - "

"Shush! Enough chitty chatter, Popcorn Stealer!" Archimedes pelted Arthur with kernels. "The show is starting!"

Arthur brushed popcorn kernels  (and feathers) from his hair.

"Thanks for watching with me Allie." Quietly, he kissed Amalthea's wrist. "I promise – it will be worth it."

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" hissed Archimedes. "The Tinkerbell Talk Show has begun!"

"Yes." Catching Bran's eye, Arthur winked. "And we're live."