Let's Start Again

Chapter 1

It was over, it was officially over. After everything that we've been through, everything he's put me through, all the tears and the heartache... It was over. I should be feeling free, like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders but I don't. I feel numb, like this whole nightmare is one big blur that will haunt me forever. There's a small part of me that genuinely feels like this isn't truly over though. I know that I'm definitely not going to give him anymore chances or go back to him again but my gut instinct tells me that he will be back and that's what terrifies me.

Whenever I need time to sit and think I come to this quiet, secluded park thats away from everyone. The view is amazing, you can see London quite clearly even though it's miles away and at night time the lights of the city are so beautiful to look at. It's easy to come here and lose complete track of time which is exactly what's happened tonight. It's now 1am and I suddenly start to realise how cold I am and that I want nothing more than my bed after sitting here for several hours. So I slowly start to gather my things from the park bench I've been sitting on and make my way back to my car. As I climb back into my car I quickly close the door, locking it behind me and put my bag on the passengers seat. I pause for a moment and just rest my head on the steering wheel. My eyes naturally close as they're tired from crying earlier today. I take a few deep breaths and then lift my head up as I turn the key to start the engine. As soon as I touch my gear stick my phone starts ringing which comes through the cars sound system making me jump. I've gotten used to the silence around me over the last few hours which my ringtone has now completely destroyed. For a moment fear consumes me as I look to see who's caller ID it is. I instantly relax when I see its my best friend calling, Taylor. The ringing feels like it's getting louder and louder as I hesitate over the answer button only because I know the conversation thats about to take place is going to get my mind thinking of everything I've just spent hours trying to forget. I know she'll be worried though so I take a breath and answer her call.

"Hey Taylor, what's up?" My voice is tired as I do my best to sound relaxed and causal. I put the car into gear and begin driving as she's on handsfree.

"What's up? Anna it's 1am where are you? I've just got home and you're not here? Is everything okay?" Her voice is full of worry as she speaks really fast for her.

"Relax I'm fine" I try to give a gentle laugh as if to say you're overreacting calm down but I know it doesn't fool her in the slightest. "I'm driving home now I won't be long, maybe we can talk then?"

"Okay, I'll wait up for you. I'll see you soon, yeah?" She says hesitantly, knowing something is wrong.

"Yeah, I'll see you soon." I confirm as Taylor ends the call. I can't help but let out a huge sigh as I continue the short drive home. The roads are so empty it's nice to drive around at this time of night. There's a few spots of rain starting to appear on my windscreen so I definitely left to come home at the right time. As I pull into our street everything is so dark with just street lamps lighting the way. As I pull into our driveway I notice the living room light is on and can see the shadow of Taylor moving around inside. The noise of me getting out of my car and locking it seems to echo down the street as I quickly run to our porch to get shelter from the rain. I fumble with my keys slightly before unlocking the door and entering our home, bracing myself for the conversation.

"Hey, I'm back. Welcome home!" I shout across the living room to Taylor who's in our kitchen as I close the front door. She's currently emptying the contents of her suitcase into our washing machine even though it's the early hours of the morning. Taylor lifts her head up and smiles as she stops what she's doing and comes over to meet me in the living room. "How was your flight?" I ask as I put my keys on the table.

"The flight was-" Taylor begins and then shakes her head brushing it off "we'll talk about that later. Are you ok?" I can see she's worried and won't settle for talking about anything else until she know's what's happened. "I tried calling you two days ago and you didn't answer, your texts weren't really normal either. I then text you as I was boarding and you never replied. I came home to find you're out and its the middle of the night. You always leave a note if you're staying at his and there's nothing here.I know something has happened whilst I've been away. Did he hurt you again?" Taylor's eyes are fixated on me as she searches for visible answers to her questions. She might not even realise she's doing it, but I can see she's looking for any sort of mark on my skin to indicate her suspicions are right.