Let's Start Again

Chapter 9

After the sunset the beach started to get quite chilly so we eventually decided to gather our things and head over to the guys place by the beach. The closer we got the bigger the house got and I felt myself sober up slightly as I watched Luke unlock the doors. I felt like I was living someone else's life, someone like me doesn't just meet 4 guys who all genuinely seem lovely and then have such luxuries in their lives that they're now sharing with me.

Luke and Calum gave us a tour of their, well I guess second home. They showed us the downstairs which had a recording studio but we weren't allowed in there as we'd all been drinking and a lot of things were breakable. Then they showed us the view from the balcony, the kitchen, living room, shower room and finally the bedrooms. Taylor and I were sharing a room for the night but when everyone went to bed she asked me if it was ok if she spent the night in Calum's room instead. One thing I love is watching Taylor behave like a school girl again, almost like I was her parent and she'd sneak around or even ask for permission to do things. I was definitely not going to stand in the way of her and Calum so told her it was fine. By that point anyways I was so tired that I felt comfortable being alone and fell to sleep instantly after she left the room.

When I woke up I was gasping for breath as I fumbled around the sheets trying to remember where I am. The nightmares were so vivid that even though I know it's a dream, I don't quite believe it for the first few seconds after waking up. I can feel my hands tremble as I reach over to turn the lamp on desperately hoping light will help calm me down, but I knock over a glass of water thats on the bedside table which smashes on the floor breaking the silence of the night.

"Shit" I whisper as I finally manage to turn the light on. There's  a few pieces of glass scattered around on the floor and I groan in frustration. I pick up the main piece of glass as I hear a bedroom door open across the hall. The wooden floor creaks as someone walks across it and then there's a gentle knock on my bedroom door. I don't have time to get up and answer as the door slowly creaks open revealing Luke.

"Hey, sorry I just wanted to check everything was ok?" He whispers closing the door behind him quietly as he enters my room.

"I may have smashed one of your glasses" I say awkwardly as I hold the shattered pieces in my hand "I'm sorry if I woke you".

Luke comes over and helps clear the broken glass up with me. He tells me not to worry about the glass and that he couldn't sleep properly either. He puts the broken glass in a bin that's in the corner of the room as I go over to the window. The moonlight shines on the sea as the gentle waves can just about be seen. There's no other lights around and it's completely silent outside.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Luke asks as he stands next to me. I nod as silence fills the room and we both admire the view. "So how comes you're awake, it's like 3am?"

I shrug as I keep my eyes forward. "Just a new bed I suppose".

"You know you don't have to lie to us, right? We're not the judgmental type and might relate to things more than you realise. You can trust me, you know if you ever want to talk about anything?" Luke isn't pushy but I can tell he really wants to make sure he words it right.

"Do you have trust issues?" I ask and he looks a bit taken back like he wasn't expecting it. "With your past, you know your job, people must have used you and lied to you a lot. Do you find it hard to open up to people incase they look at you differently or use it against you somehow?"

He thinks for a moment of his past experiences. "Um, in a way I guess. I mean we were lucky to have a really good team of people around us. But of course like anywhere there's one or two people that use you or may not have good intentions. I just listen to my gut instinct more now I suppose and follow it. That old saying, actions speak louder than words is also incredibly important to me".