Don't Give Up On Me

Don't Give Up On Me: Never Giving Up On You

I glanced to the clock, seeing it was five in the morning. I couldn't sleep. My head was too full, trying to think and know what I wanted from Jacob. I just wanted to go and find Jacob, and bring him back home, but I couldn't, not until I knew what I wanted of him. I had thought all week what I wanted of him and I couldn't come to anything that would bring him back into my life. I wanted my sun back. I wanted my old life with just him in it. But still, I wasn't sure what I truly did want. It all sounded so stupid to me! I couldn't work out my feelings, I couldn't work out want I wanted, what I had and didn't have. I just knew that I needed him. 

At around six o'clock I fell asleep with the exhaustion taking over my body. I smiled and opened my eyes at the feeling of his warm breath against my neck. His eyes were on me with an unsure look in his eyes and with a small crooked smile lighting his face and full lips. 

Morning, he mouthed, brushing his lips over the skin of my neck, making me shiver at his touch. He chuckled darkly at my reaction to him. Morning, I mouthed back once my thoughts were clear enough to even think of what time of the day it was. I yawned, stretching while sitting up. I looked down to Jacob while he was lying beside me with a smirk on his face while looking up to me.  

His fingers ran down from my shoulder to my elbow while watching his hand moving, before holding my gaze with his. His chocolate eyes were so intense. Moving slowly, he pushed me back so he was lying over top of me while he kissed me softly. He pulled away slowly and suddenly, not breaking our gaze. "I tired you out last night?" he smirked, kissing me again. 

"Mmm, you could say that," I nodded and smiled. He chuckled, turning slightly red in the cheeks. I giggled, leaning up and kissing him again softly. His hand ran down the side of my face, kissing me a little harder with every second that went by. Like usual, he was making it hard to think clearly, or even breath for that matter. I moaned at the touch of his lips on my jaw line and neck. He was making me breathless with each brush and kiss of his lips. 

"What do you want Bella?" he asked in a breathless tone under my ear. I moaned at the feeling of his hot breath against my skin again. 

"You," I half sighed and half moaned.  

I awoke gasping at that point. All these dreams had to mean something. I'd had around ten since Jacob had left. They were all simular to each other. He was either taking me as his own, asking me what I wanted or kissing me such passion, that only a true love could show. There was only one thing that was the same in each of the dreams. There was only one thing that I wanted in each of them. Him and no one or anything else. 

And then, I realized what I wanted. I wanted Jacob, in my life, as my true love, as his imprint, forever. All the dreams had meant the same thing, they were all helping me work out what I wanted from him, and they had helped. A lot. 

I flung my legs over the side of my bed at twelve o'clock in the afternoon. I couldn't believe I had slept so late into the day. It would take me at least three to four hours to get to Seattle, but I didn't care. I just wanted to with him. I loved Jacob, I always had, but . . . Edward had made me blind of that. Before, I thought Edward was perfect, flawless, and he was, but he wasn't what I wanted anymore. I wanted life, I wanted warmth and a sun, not, ice, and that was what Edward was. It was a choice of fire and ice, and I had chosen, fire and passion over ice and death. I had chosen Jacob, and now, I just hoped that I could find him, and he would still accept me into his life, and to be his, forever. He was my life. He brightened my day and brought life to me, to how it should have been from the start when we first met. I should have seen it sooner. We were meant to be. I knew that now. 

I packed my backpack for the day and left a note on the counter for Charlie, telling him that I was going to Seattle to look for Jacob and that I would be home late or in the next few days. I walked out into the cold icy rain, allowing it to hit the skin on my arms as I went out to my truck. I climbed inside and turned on the heater, drying myself out before starting the engine. I just hoped that its engine would last until I got to Seattle. If I got there, and then it died on me, what was the worst could happen? If I ended up staying with Jacob a few more hours or days alone, while waiting for my father to come and pick us both up and take us both home? If that was the worst that could happen, I welcomed it. I wanted to be alone with Jake for a few days, but I knew that Charlie would never like that idea . . . well, he wouldn't with Edward. Jacob on the other hand may have been different in his books. After all, Jacob was a friend of the family. But he wasn't anymore to me. I wanted him to be more than just a friend. I wanted him to be mine, and I wanted to be his. How I hadn't seen it sooner, I would never know.