Don't Give Up On Me

Don't Give Up On Me: It's Me I'm The Freak

His eyes were so dark, almost like midnight. I hadn't ever seen them so intense and dark before. His eyes closed for a moment. He shook his head and reopened his eyes. They were normal again. They were his usual russet chocolate brown that I loved so much.  

"I'm sorry," he murmured, looking down to me. "I don't know what came over me," he added, squeezing his eyes closed, running his wet hand over his face. "I told you, that I wanted to take this slow-" I cut him off, placing my index finger over his lips, looking deep within his eyes as he stared me back into my eyes.

"You obviously need it Jacob," I murmured, kissing him softly and passionately. He kissed me back, brushing his lips over mine and nipping my lower lip. His hand ran down to my waist as his lips slowed. He pulled away. "I'm sorry. I don't want it to be this way." 

He sat up, wrapping a towel around himself and walked out of the room. I sighed, slipping down into the water still trying to get warm still.  

I played with the bubbles around me as I thought deeply. It felt like it was me that was wrong. But he loved me, didn't he? I knew this was going to happen. I knew that I had hurt him too much for him to love me again and trust me. That was it. He didn't feel like he could trust me again. He didn't feel like he could open up to me like he used to in fear of getting hurt again and I couldn't blame him. For the things I had done in the past, why should he trust me again so soon? I was lucky that he had even saved me from the cold, let alone bringing me to his apartment to get me warm. I was stupid! I didn't deserve to have him.

Pulling the plug, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself as I dried my hair with a hairdryer. It only then occurred to me that I had no dry clothes to put on, nor did I get the feeling that Jacob would want to keep me warm now. I grunted to myself, annoyed. Now what was I supposed to do to keep warm? I shook my head, shutting off the hairdryer and walked out into the main room with the towel still wrapped around me. I saw Jacob sitting on the couch in some jeans and a blue checked white buttoned up shirt, glaring at the muted TV in the dark. He had the heater going with my clothes in front of it, getting them dry. It was pointless putting the heater on them, he was only going to blow the thing up with how wet they were. It would take forever for them to dry, even in the dryer or on a hot summer's day.

I sat on the floor in front of the heater, watching the TV. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing that he was still watching it. I didn't understand how he was watching it. It was soundless. Then I realized that it was one of those cop shows that he hated. Jacob hated watching people been hurt and killed. I then knew that he wasn't really watching it, but more glaring at it with blind eyes. I looked back down to the floor below me, then to the little green light on the heater's dial. I stared at it for what felt like hours on end like I was hypnotized. Suddenly I broke from my dazed state and stood up. I felt Jacob's eyes on me as I went out of the room and to the bedroom. It seemed to be that there was no sign of anyone had slept in this room recently. The bed was made perfectly and the whole room was clean and bag less.

I flopped myself back on the bed, looking up to the ceiling above me with my wet towel still around me. I could hear the sound of the rain still falling heavily outside. I shuddered as a chill went through me, but I didn't move. I tilted my head to the side after a while, looking to the clock on the other side of the bed. Three ten it read. It felt a lot later than that.

At some point, I must have fallen to sleep, because the next thing I knew was waking up to Jacob's voice in the doorway. "I'm sorry," he murmured, looking to me.

I sat up, watching him. "No, I am Jacob. I shouldn't have pushed you like that."

He shook his head, staying silent for a moment. "I should have taken that much easily Bella."