UNA ROSA

Chapter 42-The Letter

After I got married, I was no longer his responsibility.

I was under the care of Pedro now.

Control had been passed on to my husband.

Pedro found out the affair despite the secrecy.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

We got along as friends but once we live together, I discovered things I couldn't quite understand.

He was emotionally cold and distant.

When we were young I thought that this trait of being reserved was a way to attract more girls but I was mistaken.

He has his own world--a place I could never reach.

It was as if he concealed himself in mystery and allowed nobody to get in.

When I engaged him in conversation, he would grunt or give a laconic reply.

It was infuriating to talk to him.

Most of the time, I felt as if I was talking to a wall.

In all honesty, I tried to chip away at his armor.

I was not successful.

The chasm between us grew and I was left to wonder whether this was how it was supposed to be.

Men and women have roles to fulfill.

As long as Pedro was a good provider, should I overlook his inadequacies?

I kept trying, Isabella.

To the detriment of my well-being, I did the best I could to fulfill the duties of a wife.

There was something else about my union with your grandfather that was not talked about often.

I have six children. Not five.

Lamberto was our first-born.

I lost him during childbirth and I never had the chance to hold him.

I was unconscious for three days because I loss too much blood.

When I finally woke up, the doctor told me that they buried my baby.

This tragedy drove the wedge farther between Pedro and I.

I was inconsolable because of what happened and I thought he felt the same.

But instead of consoling each other, he worked harder.

He went abroad and left me under the care of my grandmother and aunt.

During that time, it was, how should I say this, my friend who took care of me.

Isabella, it's funny that even now I don't know what label to use or to give.

Am I a pioneer because I don't subscribe to any of those?

But it was not the reason why I couldn't define who and what we were to each other.

We came from a different time.

But in our hearts we knew we love each other with or without definitions.

That same love was the reason why I was taken away to a foreign place.

Away from everything I knew, away from her.

When I found out the real reason why we moved to America, I realized that your grandfather's anger was rooted not just in jealousy but also in pain.