dsmp oneshots

he knows its gross

tw/cw: eating disorder, purging, vomit, implied panic attack, mentions self-harm, and cutting (there is no cutting actually in the oneshot).

♡

george sat on the stall in his bathroom, neck stretched to the right glaring at himself in the mirror. his phone was sat on the counter beside the sink, buzzing every now and then with notifications from the 'sex havers' snapchat group chat, alongside a couple of private messages from karl about a video idea he'd had. the brunette's mind was running so fast he had completely zoned out the sound of his phone's vibrations, focusing instead on the suffocating quiet that stilled throughout the rest of the house.

he looked himself up and down once more before scowling and dragging his contemplation away from the mirror, opting instead to look at the grey tiles on the floor.

one of the tiles had a crack along the middle which had always disturbed him slightly, he wasn't sure exactly why. perhaps because of the resemblance it shared with a cut through skin- but why would that bother him? he's never cut, nor has he every wanted to.

regardless, after a few moments his whole body was overtaken with discomfort and he found himself swiftly moving his gaze away. this time opting to stare at the window on his left.

it was one of those weird bathroom windows that had textured glass that let light in but you couldn't see through, you could just about make out the scattered colours of the scenery. admittedly, he looked at the window longer than he had the floor, but the realisation that the colours he could see were dull, unrealistic representations of their real beauty made him shift his vision again. this time settling on the one place he was trying to avoid looking.

the toilet.

now, george had never cut before, that wasn't a lie, but that's not to say he hadn't indulged in some other form of self harm.

he let himself zone out again looking at the toilet, eyes slightly blurring over with tears. to be honest, he didn't know why he was crying, this isn't the first time he'd found himself in this situation. in fact, this happened quite regularly- he previously would've argued that he had become desensitised to the ordeal, but clearly there was something different about it today.

maybe it was because he had had a particularly bad stream the night before, with less views and more hate comments filtering past his mods... yeah, that was it. it definitely had absolutely nothing to do with the blond and the raven haired boys sat down stairs.

george let out a sob at the thought, hand impulsively slapping over his mouth to try muffle any future noises that tried to slip by.

he'd collected dream and sapnap from the airport mere hours ago, both boys exhausted from the flight and time zone changes. they'd got home, ordered food, eaten, and then crashed onto the sofa and let sleep overtake them as countdown played quietly on the tv.

in fact, thinking about it, if george stopped panting out tears and really listened he could still hear ads running on the television in the room below him.

through his tears he smiled lightly, thinking about the drive home with sapnap and dream, and how the awkward tension he had worried would overcome them hadn't even surfaced for a moment. then he remembered the pizza.

he remembered the filthy, greasy pizza and his smile subsided, gaze refocusing through his tears as he stared at the toilet.