Esztar Is Falling

C H A P T E R 58

"Then tell me. Who are you meeting?" I said despite the barrier of his hand.

"Junior Outhwaite." He grinned.

•••••••

Minutes turned into hours which tumbled ahead into days. Six days to be precise. It wasn't working.

Rafael's absence was taking a toll on me.

Yes, that's how fragile my resolve was. I can fool myself all that I like but there was no way I could deny the dark, amiable truth.

I love Rafael Grayson.

And I lost him.

I did exactly what Harri did. I took his love for granted and I fucking lost him. Rafael was right. He did all that he could but it wasn't enough for me. As I let off some steam and thought about what happened that day, I realized that I overreacted.

Rafael would never disrespect me like that. He was angry. People blabber shit they don't mean.

He was right, like every time and I was wrong again, like every time.

But the anger still remained. For me as well as him. When he made a mistake, I always forgave him. I always gave him a million chances. Now when I asked for one, he just couldn't.

The chains suspending the red and black punching bag jingled as I landed a kick, following with my continuing punches. I focused on my bloody knuckles, trying to subdue the pain springing from my heart.

Bam!

The leather of the punching bag heated up slightly at the assault of my fists, my skin scrapping at the contact and drawing out more blood.

"Fucking feelings. Fucking heart. Just go to hell!" I gritted, my hits getting more intense and my breaths heavy as I gasped for air.

"Vittoria!" Harri called out, his hasty footsteps echoing in the basement gym. "Stop it, Vittoria! What are you doing." He forcefully pulled me back from the poor punching bag.

"Practising."

"Doesn't look like it." He scolded like he does to his daughter whilst quickly drawing out a first aid kit and wrapping my hands with a bandage. "What did you achieve by hurting yourself? Please enlighten me."

"Don't scold me like that. I'm not Xenia." I mumbled grumpily and sat down resting my back against the wall. He sighed, settling down next to me but maintaining a decent distance. "I'm seeing you after two days straight. You're ignoring me. Go and guard the mansion. That's more important. I'm never going to talk to you."

He grinned. That idiot freaking grinned. "Xenia told me the exact same thing yesterday."

"And?"

"She didn't talk to me for full five minutes. Can you believe it? I for sure can't." He feigned awe.

Don't laugh. You're mad at him, Vittoria.

"No, don't even try, princess Leia. You're going to give in soon. See? It's there. It's almost there. Oh no, what am I seeing? A...smile? Vittoria is smiling? Holy-"

"You don't swear Harri!" I screeched.

He knit his brows. "Cheesecakes. I was going to say cheesecakes."

"Sure." I laughed. He stared at me for a second. Then he smiled.

"That wasn't so difficult now, was it?"

It's never difficult when I had my favorite people around. But everything goes back to the new normal the moment I'm left alone. Why was I was so fucked up?