They say that nowadays, love cease to exist. It's just a myth. To which it never existed. That it was just in fairytale. Or in movie's, book but not life.
But Ezra helped me prove them wrong. It not just a myth, it doesn't just happen in a fairytal...
I didn't feel anything I was just numb. Why am I not reacting like a normal person would when they find out that they're having a baby?
I'm confused why do I feel so empty? I look over at everyone. I almost laughed when I didn't see Kate.
Even though I hate her most of the time. I just wanted my sister. I want someone to tell me that I'm going to be ok.
But after so many times of trying you soon realize that they're never going to change and that your just going to have to go through it alone.
***
After a few days, I finally got released from the hospital.
I step out of the car looking at a building a used to call home. It used to feel safe and warm but now it feels cold and empty.
I feel cold and empty.
It feels like there's an opened wound that sits in the middle of my chest. And nothing can fix it.
I push open the front door. The first thing I see is Max running towards me but stops before he makes it to me.
"Wheres Uncle Ezra?" His eyes narrowed. In that moment I felt like I had been stabbed in the chest. "Is he still in the hospital?" His angelic voice asked.
Did no one tell him?
My lip trembled as I try to hold in my cries. I bent down so I was to his level. I try to calm my breathing before I speak. "I-I'm— he's" I stop when Max rushes to me hugging me.
"It's okay Auntie I'll protect you now." He said with a sob. Like he understood what I was trying to say.
***
"Nevaeh?" I see Leo step into my room. I look back into the mirror. I don't even recognize myself. I have dark circles under my eyes. I'm pale.
Today is the day I have to say my final goodbyes to the love of my life.
Everything feels dull with of him. Like all the color in the world vanished.
I wish I had died with him that day. I wish everyday that I would have died next to him.
I look over myself in the mirror one more time. I'm just wearing a plain black dress with a black coat. "Are you ready?" Leo asked with a sympathetic smile.
I decided to have Ezra's funeral at night so he could watch the stars with me one last time.
I grabbed the two rings that are on the chain that is around my neck. The ring that Ezra gave me and the ring that he had for when we were going to get married.
We were supposed to get married.
I've looked everywhere for the damn necklace I let Ezra have but I can't find it anywhere. I don't remember him wearing it the night he died.
"Yes, I'm ready."
***
I stayed as far away from as I could from the casket. I watch as everyone said their goodbyes. I watch Zayden look over at me. He just lost his brother and his mother all in one day.
I watched him put an extra rose in for me. Because I don't think I would even be able to move it I tried.
I felt Max's little hand squeeze mine. I looked down at his big green eyes.
"I'm here auntie." He hasn't left my side since I got home.
I don't want to go home to that empty house And to that empty bed. Losing Ezra broke not just me but everyone.
Leo and Max don't joke and mess around. I barely even talk to anyone. It hurts to even breathe to every time up in the morning.
I' m empty.
And alone.
"It's okay to cry auntie no one will hear you." Max said as he hugged me. "I know kiddo I know." I just don't know if I can.
I watch as everyone begins to walk back to their cars. But Kate makes her way up the small hill where Max and I were standing.
"Come on baby let's give her space." Kate gave me a sad smile. "But auntie needs my protection." Max's hand tightened around mine.
"She can protect herself." Kate lifted Max into her arms. "Take your time." She whispered before walking away.
I stare in-front of me, watching as they cover his coffin with dirt. It didn't truly feel real until I watch the dirt fill the hole where is body laid in.
*** song: Heaven by Beyoncé
I stared down now covered coffin. I looked at the headstone. The headstone is beautiful. There's an angel slumped over it. It looked like she crying.
Rest In Peace Ezra King March 23, 1998 - March 7, 2022 "A love without end."
My Ezra is a love without end. I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I love him.
I sit on the grass resting my back against the back of the headstone. I look up at the dark sky all the little stars sparkle in the night sky.
"I just want to wake up." I feel my eyes welled up with tears. "I just want to wake up and y-you be there with me." My voice came out weak.
"I don't know if I can do this without you." I can feel my chest shake as I try not to sob. "You left.." I sucked in a breath.
I haven't really felt anything until now.
"You fucking left me here...I-I needed you. We needed you." I placed my hand on my stomach. "I hate you. I hate you for allowing me to love you."
"It hurt Ezra it fucking hurts. How do you expect me to raise our baby all on my own? I never got the parenting I need." How am I supposed to be a good parent if I'm doing it alone?
"We were supposed to do this together." I pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them.
"I guess we'll never get our forever." My chest clenched at my own words. He died for me.
He died because of me.
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Word count: 1505
Bro Max thinks he needs to protect her because Ezra's not there to my heart.
