The Clandestine Six- The Denouement

Chapter 19- Again?

**ERIC'S POV**

My heart dropped. I literally couldn't feel my heart being present in my chest as Roselle said those words. I don't know how she suppressed her feelings for the short while we were on call with the others, but she did a good job. But her feelings of being betrayed were coming back now. I could clearly see how hurt she was.

It was hard during back then, and I just realised that it is hard even now. I lost someone precious to me back then, I was about to lose another person precious to me.

I thought I was ready to face it. I thought I had prepared myself for the time when I would lose my love, I thought I had made up my mind for the time when I would have told her about it all. But no, seems like, every time I looked at her face, a light hope filled in my heart that maybe, she won't leave me.

"Eric... I'm sorry. I can't keep this up any longer."

And here came the words. I thought I would be able to bear it but I couldn't. I wanted to say all kinds of things.

You said you won't leave me, didn't you? Why are you leaving me now? I thought I finally had someone who'll always stay with me, was I wrong? Why can't you stay? Is it because of the fact that I was or rather, am a half-monster? But don't you all have powers, just like me? Why is it my fault that I was born like this? Why can't someone love me for who I am? Just having a different form of my body... does that make me a monster by heart? Do I really not deserve you, Roselle? Can I really never live a normal life... like a human? Do I really not deserve life? Should I really just die?

All these questions muddled up in my head but knowing that these could be hurtful, I didn't say it. The last thing I want to do is hurt the person I loved the most, even if she... doesn't love me anymore.

"I'm... sorry." I said. That's all I could say. It had been so hard for me to find a will to live all those years, and I felt so happy when I found it in Roselle... but now, I lost it. I don't deserve to live. Yes. I should just die.

"I think I should g—" I started but was interrupted by Roselle. Her eyes were all teary and she came closer to me and pushed me back. I stumbled but I didn't fall.

"WHY? WHY ARE YOU STILL HIDING YOUR FEELINGS? DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING THEN WHY ARE YOU HOLDING BACK YOUR TEARS? WHY ARE YOU SO... AM I NOT ENOUGH OF A SHOULDER TO CRY ON FOR YOU? DO YOU NOT REALISE HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE FOR ME? DO YOU NOT REALISE HOW MUCH IT HURTS WHEN I SEE YOU GULPING DOWN YOUR FEELINGS JUST SO YOU THINK I WOULD REACT BADLY TO THEM? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME? DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D FREAK OUT AND SHOUT AT YOU FOR MERELY HAVING A BAD DAY? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME, ERIC? IS THIS YOUR LOVE? NO? THEN WHY DO YOU DO THIS? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FEEL MISERABLE?!" She shouted.

My eyes widened as her words sunk in my heart. My words could have hurt her but my silence was worse. Being quiet and doing as I was told to was the only thing I was taught as a kid so I really didn't know what to do at this point... But something told me that I should reveal my feelings.

"Roselle... I... I never asked to be a monster, you know? I always wanted to be a human, normal, just like you. I—I finally found happiness, after all those dark years of my life. I found my happiness in you. Please... Don't go away. Please don't leave me. I cannot live without you. I love you too much to be able to live without you... You are my only hope, please... Stay with me." I said. It felt good. It was the first time I was telling my true feelings to someone. I felt relieved but at the same time, I wondered if I would get hurt by the same feelings again.

I was staring down at the floor, wondering if it'll be the beginning of a new start or the end of a dusty old past.

Just then, Roselle came towards me and grabbed my face with both her hands and made me look right into her eyes.