I run around each branch that reaches for the sky. Looking all different ways through the moon light for Matteo.
What are you chasing after?
I keep my stamina running through the possibilities. The overgrown grass grazed over my finger tips as I try to catch my breath.
What are you longing for?
I roll through my thoughts as each doubtful thought races to the top of my focus. I took in a sharp breath of clean fresh air. The iciness of the downpour numbed my calloused hands and the rest of my body. Oh how I craved the warmth of a crackling fire.
The moonlight hid behind the gray clouds as I try to catch each breath and hold on to them for dear life.
What was I running to? Was there a finish line to all this madness? This beautiful beautiful mess we've made together.
I reach the overgrown entrance to the garden and Matteo standing in the other side of the fountain with crossed Arms staring into the rose bushes. I study his presence.
Tall, tense, he looked tired.
My body felt numb.
His eyes were truly captivating. Everything about Matteo what breathtaking. Just enough to nock you off your feet.
I trotted a few steps forward grabbing his attention to me. Only a few feet away and staring into each other's eyes.
I didn't know what to say. I don't know what I came here for exactly.
"I don't know how else to say it exactly so I'm just gonna say it. I love everything about you ace. I love your smile. I love how your passion for people. I admire you as a whole. If I could paint a picture of your eyes I would stare at them every moment of every day. If I could share a small fragment of your mind, the possibilities would be endless. Your eyes have a gold Spec in the left corner. " Matteo stops for a moment and chuckles "No one would notice it unless they stared close enough. I love you. I love... everything about you." Matteo grabs my hands rubbing my finger tips with his thumbs as he talks.
I stood there longing for my mouth to speak. I had so much to say and such little words. What do you say to such things as that? Thank you?
What are you chasing after?
I did love him. But not in the way he needed. The way he longed for me to love him. I didn't. I couldn't. Maybe I was just stubborn. But I can't. I wont.
"I can't say what you want me to say." The words manage to escape my lips. I sigh, Releasing the hold he had on my hands.
"Lie to me then."
Heavy droplets of freezing water stung my skin as I stood in my presence. The moonlight was swallowed by the thick silver clouds that heavily concealed the start filled clouds.
Lie to me then? What does that even me. I've been brutally honest with him. Everything that's happened, everything I know about him I didn't recognize him right now.
"Lie to me. For one night. And one night only. Please." His eyes had lost color. He looked tired. Worn out.
Desirable.
I didn't love him the way he want me to. But I did love him.
"I love you." The pity words slipped out of my mouth. I don't know if I truly loved him or I really just wanted him to be ok.
The rain was now pouring. We were so close but oceans away.
"Good night Aria." Lifeless.
What are you longing for?
