Ayn's Healing

Chapter 45 - Ayn

The next morning the Gamma slams my cell door wide open.

"She wants you to come."

I let myself be dragged again by my cuffs on the second floor and I try in vain to get a whiff of my son's intoxicatingly sweet smell.

As we enter the Luna's room, I see she had a crappy night. Her eyes are sunken in and she has dark purple circles around her eyes. Of course she did, I am pretty sure I have miscalculated the amount of artichoke extract in the mix. After all, I am a regular human here, I am allowed to make mistakes.

The pack doctor is in the room and I explain to him that he should slightly modify the mix, it seems that the Luna needs a stronger formulation. He complies with my proposal and asks me how many drops he needs to give her.

I tell him to start with five, she drinks them bottom up and complains that I didn't warn her how bitter they were. Then, out of the blue, she dismisses the two males.

"I need to have a word with the witch," she tells them.

"But Luna, the Alpha said..."

"I know what the Alpha said, that she's to be guarded at all times. But you can guard her from the other side of the door. She's not going to fly away through the dark sheath. Get out. Now."

As we are alone, she reaches into her nightstand and throws me a little plastic bottle.

"Express your milk in here," she orders, and I look at her, stunned. I have seen a lot of twisted things in this pack and I don't know what to make of this request. In reply to my puzzled look, she explains:

"I have seen your dress wet with milk. I have a young pup of my own who still suckles at my breast and I cannot imagine being away from her. I can't give you your son. But I will make sure you come here every day so that he at least gets your milk. I am Elena, by the way."

I sit on the blue couch and start opening up my dress. When she speaks about my son I feel a stream of tears burning my cheeks and rolling down on my shaky hands that are fighting with the buttons. The milk rises from my sides, rushing in and filling the ducts, wavy and rough like a mountain stream. My nipples burn with release and I press my thumb on the right one, watching how the white-bluish liquid hits the bottle's wall in long spurts.

Better in this bottle than on the floor of my cell, where I have spilled it in the last days in an attempt to fool my body that my milk is still needed.

The Luna continues:

"I know the Goddess will punish us for what we did. I told this to Miro, my Alpha , but he didn't listen. Ever since this stupid Beta arrived in our pack, he gave my mate the idea that a hybrid would be the answer to all our problems, that it would make the pack invincible. He's totally obsessed with hybrids. I have heard the warriors say that, with his previous pack, Beta even tried to turn some witches, killing them all in the process. Poor women...." She ends her phrase softly, eyes closing with something that could be regret.

I scream at her - but only in my head - that one of those poor women was my mother and that now I was about to suffer the same fate if my son turned out not to be the hybrid their demented Beta was after. I hold out the little plastic bottle I have half filled and place it in her hands. I hope Lars will receive it in time.

Elena wraps the bottle in an icepack. She bends down to hide it in her nightstand. Behind her back, I drop one grain from the metal vial into the water glass on the table. Behind her back, I say a silent "I am sorry", aimed both at her and the Gods because, if my plan doesn't work, I will have killed the only being that has shown me some kindness since we were brought here.