Love Letters [KTH FF]

Lᴏᴠᴇ Lᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ 2

Dear Tae Tae

December 10th, 2021

Do you remember that one time we skipped school, and your parents caught us together at that little convenience store eating ramen? What are the odds that they chose to go to that store? Then they mentioned that they saw the location on your phone. I remember how much we laughed. At how stupid we were. 'Damn locations' you had muttered and complained about. I laughed at your anger. I laughed at the fact we had never thought about how parents could do that kind of thing. You mumbled and groaned and complained like you were dying of the flu. We went to my parents and we told them that we skipped, they didn't even care. They expected no better of me, of us.

When's the last time you thought about us? Together, as best friends. I think about you everyday. I always say my omens, that you are healthy, that you are strong, that you are capable, that you are worthy, that you are my everything. I know, I am very obsessive over us. 

You are my favourite person. I am not your favourite person. I see you on your vlogs and lives, having the time of your life. With your new best friends, I can tell by the way you look at them, that you love them. All of them, maybe even more than you loved me. I never thought that would happen. Ever. I always thought that it would be you and me against the world. Fighting our demons and conquering our fears together. I sigh and laugh now, thinking of how foolish I was to think we would spend our whole lives together.

'Friends will come and go, but family will last forever.' I used to laugh at that saying, then I'd remedy by saying that you are family. You are like my older brother. My oppa. God, I know you hate that word. I would call you oppa just to annoy you, even though you are older than me. I love how your face would turn red, your eyes would bulge and your lips would pucker as if you had just sucked on a lemon.

I stopped listening to Winter Bear. I don't have the heart anymore. I don't have the will to listen to your voice. I remember that you would sing for me. I always knew that you would go somewhere, somewhere big. I said that I thought we would conquer the world together. You are conquering the world with your new best friends. 

Kim Namjoon. Kim Seokjin. Jeon Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Min Yoongi. Park Jimin. But none of them are like you, Kim Taehyung.

You are you. You are special. I wish you were still mine. Were you able to tell that I had a crush on you during those awkward years of puberty? where I was growing in all the wrong places and my moods were crazy. It faded, because I knew that would ruin our friendship. I let you date the girls you wanted, you let me date the boys I wanted. We would still do everything together, which explains why all of our relationships were short-lived. None of them more than two weeks for me. The longest you dated a girl was for thirty-four days, eight hours, twenty-seven minutes, and fifty-four seconds. I counted, every hour. Every minute. Yes, even every second.

I miss you so much. I know that you are going on tour soon. I hope you have fun. You'll get to see the whole world by the time you disband. Sometimes, I can't wait for that day, that way you can be mine again. Other times, I feel guilty for thinking that, seeing how happy you are.

Kim Taehyung, I miss you. I love you.

Yours,

Han Minyoung