Noona [Ateez]

Lost

That night

Bosam's Point of View

...I'm a mess. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep pretty much as soon as I walked into the room. Not after what happened.

My eyes narrowed as they tried to adjust to the dark room. I was slowly able to make out Rowoon, who had climbed into San's bed and was cuddling with him by the time it took for me to come in. My eyes softwned at the sight. Poor thing... he doesn't get much from me, but I wish he didn't get something bad, like my attachment issues. I can't sleep alone, and it seems neither can he.

I decided not to wake either of them and just quietly got into Yunho's bed. I had caused enough trouble.

I was painfully aware of the fact that this wasn't my bed. It smelled different. It smelled like Yunho. While that would usually be a comforting scent, that night, it only made me more distraught.

My mind spiraled between my sweet moments with Yunho to all the incredible memories I had made with Jiho over the years. One moment, I was remembering kissing Yunho under the stars, and the other, I was seeing the look of betrayal displayed on his sweet face after having punched my best friend in the face.

After some time, I decided to go get a glass of water in hopes to distract my mind from the torturous loop it had set itself to. When I opened the door of the room to go get it, I heard a sharp sniffle, making my heart drop.

"Yunho?" I called softly as I walked into the living room. "Yeah?" He said, his voice an octave deeper than usual as he tried to sound nonchalant. I turned on the light, and he used it as an excuse to rub and wipe at his eyes. "Noona, it's late, turn it off." He said, seemingly wanting to hide the fact that he was crying.

I pursed my lips as I complied. I then quietly walked over to him and sat on the couch beside him. "What are you doing?" He asked. "I don't know. I couldn't sleep." I said softly, looking ahead. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. There was a dim light coming from the streetlight outside the window. I didn't want to risk myself seeing Yunho like that.

"Why?" He asked. I looked down. "I feel terrible," I said honestly, letting out a shaky breath. After a small pause, Yunho replied "me too."

Despite my better judgement, I did turn to look at him at that. He was looking at me. His face was red, and so were his eyes, which were also damp with tears. Sadness looked so heartbreaking on his soft features. Seeing Yunho this sad felt as if you had just seen your childhood home, a place that was supposed to be warm and full of life, completely empty and run down. It was disheartening.

I bit my lip, feeling myself getting emotional as I nodded and looked away.

"Well... say something." He said after I didn't respond. "I feel like I'm gonna go crazy here. Please. Say anything." He said, or rather begged.

"I'm sorry," was all I could manage to say as I desperately fought against my own emotions so as to not cry. I didn't get to cry. I was the one who was hurting others. Why should I be the one to cry? It wasn't fair of me.

"Don't say that," Yunho whined, reaching over to grab my face with one of his hands, turning me to look at him. "You still like me, right?" He asked, scanning my teary eyes desperately.

I nodded, my hand reaching up to rest over his own. He nodded slowly. "Things haven't changed, right?" He asked, still looking at me with the same needy expression.