What the Heart Wants: Book 3

13

"What!? He wasn't using it anymore!"

I let myself laugh a moment at Bilbo's comment, happy he was still trying to lighten the mood. 

"Come along you two, you're both coming with me," Gandalf called for us, turning back towards Bard, "Where will you go?"

"Wherever I'm needed. I'm fighting to give my children a better chance at survival," Bard answered before looking down at Bilbo and I, "Take care of each other."

I nodded and gave him a thankful smile. Looking over at Bilbo, I noticed he did the same. I turned my head towards Gandalf, waiting for his instructions. 

"We make for a causeway. I need some high ground to survey the playing field," Gandalf looked out at the path in front of us, "Stay close."

He began moving towards an open area in front of us. Bilbo and I followed behind, our swords unsheathed and ready at our sides. We moved in a triangle-like formation with Gandalf in front of us and Bilbo and I holding up the rear. I stood to the right of Gandalf and Bilbo to the left which meant all I needed to be worried about was my own right side and whatever came behind me. I had my eyes peeled, hoping to turn myself into an asset instead of a liability without a weapon. A grunting noise to my right caught my attention and I turned myself towards the noise, the pointed tip of my sword turning with me. An orc in a group of four had noticed us and was in the process of informing its companions. There was about 25 yards of distance between us but I knew as soon as they came running, we wouldn't have time to escape.

"Gandalf!" I shouted, not taking my eyes off the orcs, "We might have some trouble over here."

 The orcs started towards us, breaking into a sprint with their swords ready to attack. I took a step backwards and readied my stance for an attack. This would be my first official sword fight. I'd had a couple of close encounters but was always shielded from the fighting by Thorin. I'd killed a few orcs during our journey but had never started and finished an attack. The closest orc and the one that had noticed us first raised its sword in an overhead striking motion, intending to slice the top of my head. Accompanied by a yelp, I raised my own sword in defence, stopping the blow. The orc stumbled back but recovered quickly and within seconds launched another blow, this time at my side. I blocked it again and as the orc stumbled again, I took my chance to slice its arm clean off. It let out a cry of pain but I paid it no mind and thrust my sword into its chest. Its eyes grew lifeless and its body fell to the ground with a soft thud. I pulled my sword from its body as fast as I could and turned my attention towards Gandalf and Bilbo who were left to deal with the other three orcs.

Gandalf was in a heated duel with one while Bilbo was doing his best to fight off the other two. I ran towards Bilbo, using my element of surprise to slice the back of one orc's legs. It fell to its knees and in one quick motion, I drew my sword across its shoulders and slashed its head clean off. Its head rolled off its left shoulder and tumbled down the path we had come from while its body fell to the ground. Bilbo let out one final grunt and managed to stab the orc he was fighting in the throat. It let out a gargling sound as blood leaked from its mouth. Its eyes locked on Bilbo for a few seconds before rolling back and becoming lifeless. Bilbo pulled his sword from the orc's body and we watched as it fell to the side. My heart was in my throat and my breathing was heavy as I looked toward Gandalf who was pushing the dead orc in front of him to the side.

"Welcome to the war Ms. Baggins," Gandalf let out a small chuckle.

"That was awful," I admitted, putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath and dropping my sword beside me.

"All they know is kill or be killed. They don't experience emotions in the same way as you or I," Gandalf reassured me.

"No, I mean fighting for my life is awful. What if I had slipped up? What if I didn't cut its arm off? Would I be dead right now?"

"There is no use worrying about such things. You are alive and at the moment, being alive is a miracle," Gandalf put a hand on my shoulder, "Now come along you two, we shouldn't be far from a causeway."

I nodded but held my position for a couple of seconds longer, making sure to send a silent thank you to whoever was watching over me. Bilbo patted my back and I nodded again, picking up my sword and standing up straight. We followed Gandalf for another 5 minutes or so before stopping on top of a causeway. The platform stretched on for a few kilometres and allowed us to see the entire battlefield down below. We could also see Erabor and my heart sank. I couldn't help but wonder how bad Thorin's dragon sickness had become. I turned away from the mountain, hoping to avoid any sort of big emotions.

"This is better, we have an excellent view of the battle from here. It looks like the dwarves are still choosing to stay out of the battle at the moment. We can only pray that changes," Gandalf mumbled the last bit to himself before walking a few paces away from Bilbo and I to talk to himself.

"Do you think he's alright?" I wondered out loud.

"Who?" Bilbo responded, either ignorant or purposely playing dumb.

"Thorin, dummy."

"I'm sure he is. He's protected by those walls."

"Do you think he meant what he said? Do you believe all those months didn't mean anything?"

Bilbo sighed, "Of course, he didn't mean it. He's so high on that sickness I doubt he knows where he is half the time he's awake."

"I know there are so many more important things happening right now Bilbo, but I can't stop thinking about him."

"I know," He paused, then placed his hand on my shoulder, "And that's ok."

I looked back towards the mountain, "I love him so much and the idea that I just left him makes me feel sick. I shouldn't be here, I should be with him."

"Y/n, you did all you could. He needed to save himself and he couldn't do it if he had you to lash out on then apologize to every time."

I nodded and looked down at my hands, still covered in orc blood.

"Do you think he still loves me?"

"I think the healthy part of him does. I just don't know how much of that part of him is left."

We stood in silence for a while, nothing either one of us could say would make the situation any less of a shit show than it was. I opened my mouth to try and make sense of it all again but was interrupted by a sound that I instantly knew meant good news. A deep trumpet sounded, its song coming from the mountain.

"Thorin," Bilbo whispered.

It sounded again before stopping. The battlefield had gone quiet and I held my breath. Before long, a giant golden bell smashed through the stone wall the dwarves had built and from the rubble came the dwarves. I let out a sob of relief as Thorin raised his sword and the dwarves around him followed, clearing a path to let him through. I looked over at Gandalf who had a look of pleasant surprise on his face.

"The dwarves! They're rallying!" Bilbo shouted with a new tone of happiness.

Gandalf smiled and nodded at the raven-haired dwarf, "They're rallying to their king."

And there it was, my moment of realization. I was right to leave Thorin when I did, but that was not the last goodbye. While those around me felt their cause was to either protect or take over the Lonely Mountain, he was my cause. I looked towards Gandalf and he gave me a small smile, he understood. I needed to be with Thorin, and I would do whatever it took to get to him.