What the Heart Wants: Book 3

8

*Y/N POV*

It had been a good few hours since Thorin had locked me in his room and my pacing had yet to stop. I gave up yelling at the door after about 15 minutes. I finally realized he had clearly walked away and my yelling wasn't helping me in any way. My next idea was to explore. Thorin's room was huge. The bed was pushed against one stone wall and adjacent to the bed were two wooden side tables. They looked Elvin made and the irony of Elvish furniture in my Elf-hating boyfriend's room made me laugh. Across from the bed was the entrance to another room. This room, I soon came to realize was actually two individual rooms.

Immediately to my right was a short hallway that turned into a washroom. It had been a while since I had washed and, while I would need to ask how the water would get to the bath, I was hopeful that I would soon be able to rinse the dirt and blood from my body and hair. After a brief look around, I wandered over to the other room attached to the main and was highly intrigued when I realized it was a closet. My eyes widened as I walked further into the room; it was ginormous. The walls were lined with hundreds of regal clothes. It was clear to me then how much Thorin was expected to look his best and be the best version of himself while his grandfather ruled over the mountain. Since returning to the mountain, I had never seen Thorin in any sort of fancy attire. While I understood most of that had to do with the lack of access he most likely had, I was positive a good portion was due to personal preference.

I knew Thorin was excited to rule over the mountain, I never held any doubt about that. We'd talked about it many a time before arriving; however, I also knew that he wanted things to be different. When his grandfather was in charge, there was such a large split between those with wealth and those without it. The love for all subjects came more from Thorin and less from his grandfather, the King. Right from the beginning, Thorin told me he would rule differently. Everyone would be treated as equals and there would be no one who would be considered better than any other dwarf. Of course, with the dragon sickness, his interests seemed to have changed.

I ran my hands over some of the gowns and capes that hung in the walk-in. They felt soft but had a stiffness to them; it was obvious they hadn't been worn in decades. One article of clothing caught my attention and I pulled it away from the rest. It was smaller, for a child, and was made from a dark green silk-like fabric. It was cool and smooth in my hands and I, with as much care as I could, pulled it from where it hung. Once it was free I laid it flat on the stone floor and smoothed it with my hands. There were words written in dwarvish and while Thorin had taught me a few words in his native tongue, it wasn't enough for me to read the entire inscription. The words were written in golden thread, which looked great against the dark green silk. I ran my hands over it and smiled. While I didn't know what the words said, I could tell they were meaningful. I softly smiled, thinking of a time where my big brooding boyfriend was just a small child. I was pulled from my thoughts by a small cough at the entrance of the walk-in. I jerked my head up and was greeted with the soft eyes of Thorin, his sickness seemingly gone for the moment.

"My grandfather wrote that for me," He smiled, looking at the writing.

I didn't say anything. On one hand, I was terribly angry at him for locking me in his room, and on the other, I knew how precious these moments with him were.

He continued once he realized I wasn't going respond, "It reads 'for my little prince, you will be our future'. Not directly of course, dwarvish doesn't translate directly."

I nodded, still debating between anger or forgiveness. Thorin seemed to sense this and took a seat beside me.

"I'm so close to losing it, y/n."

"I know."

"I keep hurting you, everyone else too, and I hate myself for it. But even now, I'm right on the edge of turning. I'm scared that this may be my last time as myself."