What the Heart Wants: Book 3

9

When we awoke the next morning, it wasn't hard to tell Thorin was being impacted by the dragon sickness. He was sitting right up in bed and his eyes looked bloodshot. He seemed angry again and his breathing was very shallow. I placed my hand on his bare shoulder; he was sweating and his skin was hot to the touch.

"Thorin?" I whispered, hoping to pull his focus away from the sickness.

He didn't seem phased in the slightest and instead brushed me off and stood up, walking towards the closet. I could hear the fabric of his clothes moving as he changed out of his sleepwear and into his full kingly clothes. I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Thorin took longer than usual to come out and when he did, he walked in a drunk-like fashion. He was stumbling and he held his hand to his head. I shifted to run my hands through my hair and Thorin's gaze turned to me.

"Get up," He mumbled gruffly, "You're needed with me."

"What?"

"Y/n, let's go. Get changed. I need you with me."

I went to smile, believing he meant he needed me; however, my smile faltered when I saw how he was looking at me. He didn't need me because he loved me, he needed me for his image.

"I refuse to ask you again, you are not a child. Get up, unless you want to go out looking like that." He huffed.

I tried not to take his words to heart; he was sick and didn't have control. I did as he asked, walking past him and into the closet where I had kept the couple dresses I took from his sister's wardrobe. I pulled out a velvet dark blue dress, collared with silver lace and pulled it over my body.

A pare of hands on my shoulders made me jump and I whipped around to find Thorin looking down at me. His eyes seemed to fog over before returning to normal every couple of seconds and he seemed more conflicted than ever before.

"I don't know how long I have," He whispered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Thorin," I whispered back, putting a hand on his cheek.

"I don't forget you and I don't forget my love for you when I go. I know that I do love you, I just can't feel the emotion."

"It's ok."

"It's not ok. You made me feel normal for the first time in years and I'm losing you."

"You aren't losing me Thorin."

"I don't know why I can't get over this."

"We'll figure it out together ok?"

"Promise you'll stay with me?"

He leaned down so our foreheads were touching and I brushed some tears from his cheeks. After a couple moments I pulled him towards me and kissed him, pouring my whole soul into the kiss. His hands found their way around my waist and on my cheek while mine tangled themselves in his hair. I pulled away, placing a couple softer kisses on his lips before looking into his eyes.

"I'll be here with you until the end Thorin, I promise."

He nodded, scrunching his eyes closed.

"I'm losing myself again," He whimpered.

"It's ok, I'm right here with you."

"What if this is the last time I'm not sick?"

"It won't be. You're so strong Thorin."

"I love you y/n," His voice came out in a whisper.

"I love you too."

He nodded again and excused himself so I could finish changing. I pulled on my boots, pretending not to notice how poorly they went with the blue dress, and grabbed a silver clip for my hair. I took a deep breath before leaving the closet. Thorin had been lost to the sickness again and stood waiting for me at the door. He barely glanced at me and instead held his arm for me to take. I did so and he pushed open his door, guiding me towards the mountain's entrance where the rest of the dwarves were waiting for us.