What the Heart Wants: Book 3

7

My footsteps echoed loudly down the empty halls. With every step closer to Thorin I could feel my heart rate increase. I had never felt nervous around him before but something about today felt different. I rounded the corner and could see the large golden doors of his room at the end of the hall. They seemed menacing today, much unlike the comfort they had brought me in times prior.

I knocked softly and was met with silence. I knocked again and could hear a faint grunt from behind the door. The door felt heavier than usual today as I carefully pushed it open and it let out a loud creak, announcing my presence. Thorin was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the crown he had placed on his dresser. It was the one he had wanted me to wear. The one I refused.

"Hey," I softly whispered, making my way towards the bed.

"I'm busy," He grunted out.

"Are you though?"

He let out a loud sigh and turned around, "I'm busy rethinking my life choices."

"Oh. And what does that entail?"

He turned around to look at me and in his eyes, I couldn't tell whether it was him or the sickness speaking, "Why didn't you take the crown?"

"You know why Thorin."

"No, I don't. I thought you loved me or at least liked me enough to want to get in my pants-"

"Thorin!"

"I just don't understand."

"Because look at what that gold is doing to you. You're irrational and unreasonable and unpredictable and always angry. I was scared taking that crown would give me the same fate. I do love you Thorin, this has nothing to do with that. But one of us needs to lead while the other can't, right? Is that not what I signed up for by dating the king?"

"You could have pretended you were grateful, instead of just turning it away like a disease."

"That gold is a disease."

"Nothing about that is true."

"Look what's happening to you. You're sick and you can't even see that. You're hurting everyone around you by shutting yourself out. You're hurting me."

"It's not intentional."

"Remember the nightmare I told you about in Beorn's cottage? The one with you and you're eyes?"

"What about it."

"When I'm looking at you now, it's hard to see anything but those cold eyes from my dream. I know it's not you but you are the only one who can save yourself. I can be here to help, and I am. We all are. But you are the only one with the power to recover from this."

He sighed again and I took that as a sign to sit beside him. He kept looking at his lap as I placed a hand on his knee. I didn't expect anything from him I knew in my heart my Thorin was fading. However, I was surprised when the dwarf placed his hand on my own. My head shot up and I locked eyes with the dwarf. For a moment it looked as though he wanted to tell me something.

"Y/n," He whispered, reaching a hand up to his hair.

"Yeah?"

He paused, his hand close to one of his braids. Another sigh and he dropped his hand, his eyes growing dark again.

"I want you to stay here."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I need to get the others ready for battle but I want you to stay here. You will be safe here."

"What? Absolutely not Thorin."

"Don't!" He raised his voice, dropping it again as he continued, "Don't argue with me. You will stay here while the others fight. I cannot be worried about you while I'm trying to win a war."