What the Heart Wants: Book 3

1

Bilbo and I sat motionless by the bolder, watching as Smaug flew closer and closer to Laketown. There was no way of warning them, nothing we could do would be able to prepare them for what was to come. I placed my hand on Bilbo's shoulder in the form of comfort, hoping my presence would ease his mind. He didn't pull his gaze away from the town on the water and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I turned around to look at the mountain, studying the hole in the front entrance, courtesy of Smaug. The rest of the company had begun to file out, each walking slowly and keeping their heads hanging in despair. The only one who didn't look even remotely fazed was our leader. Instead, Thorin stood tall, looking out at Bilbo and me then at the dragon. He turned to his right, walking up a hill and towards a rocky platform. He lifted his leg onto one of the rocks and kept his hands at his side; something seemed off about him.

"Come on," I softly whispered to my brother, carefully grabbing his arm and pulling him back towards the rest of the group.

They had followed Thorin's path but chose to stand on a second platform, higher than the first allowing them a better view of Laketown. Bilbo walked slowly towards the company but I couldn't wait for him, itching to talk to Thorin. I carefully climbed up and stood beside him, earning no recognition of my presence from the dwarf. I placed a hand on his arm, startling him.

"Oh," Was all he said as he looked down at me.

I glanced across the water, wincing as Smaug blew his fire on the town below, "It's horrible, isn't it?"

"It is what it is."

I looked up at him, shocked at his response, "Those people are dying Thorin."

"Everyone dies in war."

"What is wrong with you? Snap out of it!" I snapped a finger in front of his face.

He shook his head and his eyes finally focused on me, "I'm sorry, I-I don't know what's gotten into me."

He pulled me into a hug, burying his head into my neck and rubbing my back. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed the side of his head. While I wanted to be mad and annoyed, I couldn't help but feel the need to love and care for him in moments like these. He just seemed so fragile in my arms. I could tell there was something wrong, something going on inside his mind but he didn't seem to have any intentions of telling me what it was. Bilbo had finally caught up and took one look at Thorin and I before walking up to join the rest of the company.

"What are you going to do about-" I started, hoping to ask him about his plans now that he was technically the king

"I don't want to talk about that right now," He mumbled, making no effort to let go of me, "I just want to hold you for a minute. It's been so long since I've been able to just hold you without worrying about something trying to kill us."

I decided against bringing up the fact that Smaug was still alive and would likely be returning to his horde when he was done at Laketown. Instead, I kept running my hands through his hair, using my fingers to work through some of the knots. As much as I didn't want to let him go, I wanted to talk with Balin, hoping the dwarf might be able to help me understand what Thorin might start feeling with now that we were back at the mountain. I slowly started releasing my grip on him, bringing my hands to his cheeks and softly pulling him off me.

"I'll be right back, I just want to talk to Balin," I told him.

He placed a hand over mine, holding my hand against his cheek and leaning into it. He held eye contact with me and his eyes seemed so empty. They held an emotion I didn't understand and wondered if I ever would. I softly smiled at him and he released his hold on my hand. I pulled away and turned towards the rest of the group. Bilbo held his hand out for me and I used to to help pull myself up the rocks.

"Poor souls," Balin mumbled, watching the city of Laketown burn.

"He doesn't even look the slightest bit phased," Bilbo spoke, gesturing with his head towards Thorin.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about Balin," I said, walking closer to the white haired dwarf.

"What was that las?" He asked, pulling his focus away from Laketown and turning to look at me.

"What's going on in his head right now?"

"Whose head?"

"Thorin's. You know his grandfather, you know how this-this sickness will impact his head. I want to know what's going on."

Balin let out a sigh, "It's a love driven by obsession. Those affected will become irrational, violent, and may even see hallucinations. It drives them mad. I believe that sickness is starting to present itself in Thorin. You could see it in the way he spoke about Bilbo while he was in the mountain. I'm sure you have noticed it in Thorin's eyes."

"Yes. It was like they were empty of everything but they still held this longing."

"That's it, yeah."

"What can we do? What can I do?"

"I'm afraid there is nothing to be done. All we can do is hope for the best and be as understanding as possible. I want to do as much research as I can to figure out how he can beat this sickness."

I nodded and looked back at Thorin. He was looking at Laketown, his gaze unmoving. He appeared almost statue-like. A loud thundering boom shook the ground and I looked frantically around.

"What was that? What happened?" Oin asked, echoing my thoughts.

"It fell. I saw it," Bilbo said.

I looked towards where he was as he was getting out of his seat. He walked towards the edge of the outcrop we were standing on and pointed towards Laketown. The group of us watched in complete silence

"It's dead. Smaug is dead," Bilbo whispered.

A few of the dwarves breathed sighs of relief and I looked towards Thorin. He was still staring at the town but a look of excitement had crossed his face.

"By my beard! I think he's right!" Gloin chimed in, a smile covering his face, "Look there! The ravens of Erebor are returning to the mountain!"

Dwarves erupted in cheers and Bilbo hugged my side, jumping in excitement. I laughed and hugged him back.

"Aye. Word will spread. Before long, every soul in Middle Earth will know the dragon is dead!" Oin cheered, hugging his brothers.

I looked back towards where Thorin had been standing. He wasn't there anymore. Instead, he was running towards the mountain. With the dragon gone, Thorin had official claim over the treasure inside. I was unsure weather I was happy for him, or terrified of what might come next.