Red Moon Rising

41. awake

Chapter Song: My Body Is a Cage - Arcade Fire

XX

I open my eyes to unforgiving darkness. My body is heavy, burdened, and I lurch upward as a layer of fresh snow falls away. It's night, but above the snow a nearly full moon glares back at me. I've never had such a peculiar feeling that she is laughing at me, that she really is a goddess who has woven my life before me and cursed me for straying from those threads. I'm trying to get back. If there are gods, if they have cursed me, then I pray they will help me get home again. I'll need any help I can get.

Nosing through the snow beside me, I find Sam's face and nudge him awake, earning a tired whine as he lifts his head and he blinks up at the moon. We shake off the snow, shift, and dress again in cold clothes, and it isn't long before we are shivering next to each other as we leave our makeshift camps and head along the highway once again.

I know he's trying to hide it, but Sam can't fully mask the limp that has found its way into his gait. His jaw is set as he glares forward at the path ahead, not looking at me when he tries to smother a wince.

"We can go slower," I suggest, but Sam quickly shakes his head.

"I'm okay."

"Sam..."

"I'm okay! Let's keep going."

I obey, but I try to match my speed to his, stopping every now and then to take small sips from the water bottle and give him a chance to rest his leg. In the distance, the yellow light of a nearby town illuminates low-hanging clouds that have begun to gather above. It's going to snow again. And we need to get to that town; we could find a phone, and maybe even a place to lie low in the comfort of a motel.

"Let's stop for a sec, okay? We need to rest and make a plan."

"We have to keep moving," Sam says in a low voice.

"Sam. I need to rest as much as you do. Besides, there is a town up ahead—what are we going to do when we get there?"

He pauses then, exhaustion evident on his face. "Okay," he says quietly. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to push yourself so hard."

"I won't let you get hurt again."

"Maybe that's out of both of our hands. And it wasn't your fault in the first place."

He nods slowly, clearly not believing a word of it. When we settle into the snow, he stretches out his leg again and slips his fingers into his boot alongside his ankle. "Fuck," he whispers, tucking his forehead to his shoulder. "Layla, you shouldn't be sticking with me."

"We're almost to town."

"That doesn't mean we're safe yet."

"Sam—"

"If you're caught, do you understand what will happen to you?"

"I think so."

"I don't think you get it. If Isaac decides you're too much trouble, you're going to end up in a cage."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He'll fucking sell you, Layla. And once he does you're never going home."

Isaac will know that I drugged him. I can't even fathom how pissed he will be when he wakes up to discover that I betrayed him like that. "You said you'd been in that building before..."

"It was a long time ago."

"What did he do to you?"

Sam chews his lip, muscle jumping along his jaw before he sighs. Something in his body just gives out, and he leans heavily forward as he looks up at me with a tiredness that is heartbreaking.