Red Moon Rising

18. separate

Chapter Song: Lay Me Down - Sam Smith (feat. John legend)

XX

"This has to end."

"Why do we have to end?"

"You know that's not what I mean."

"But that's what you're saying. Cam, this week you've had...it's unlike any other. No one should have to go through what you're going through right now."

"I didn't have to go through this."

"But that's the thing." I'm crying now—I can't help it, and I don't really care anymore. "Nothing could have prevented this. They are horrible things that happened, but you didn't cause them—we didn't cause them."

"I think you're wrong. I think...this is going to keep happening."

"If this is our curse, then shouldn't it be punishing us?"

"Killing my loved ones is the worst punishment I could think of."

"Then what about my family?"

"Are you going to wait for them to start dying too?"

"Fuck," I whisper, and I try to push him away from me. "Let go of me already, okay?"

"Layla, wait," he pulls me back to him and kisses me hard. His eyes roam frantically over my face, and I think that he's trying to memorize this, too. "I need you to understand why I'm doing this."

"I don't understand, and nothing you say is going to change that."

"I love you, okay? God Layla, you're what I think about when I wake up every morning. You are—"

"You can't say that to me! You can't say that to me and then leave me." I try to control the panic rising in my throat. "You've had a horrible day. Won't you just go to sleep and think about this a little bit? Why are you doing this right now?"

He doesn't respond right away, but his hand slips into my hair and he kisses me again. Part of me wants to shove him away. He doesn't get to love me and leave me at the same time. It isn't fair for him to want both of those things. But another part of me believes that if I kiss him and really, truly, mean it, that maybe he'll decide to stay. I don't care about being pathetic now. I'll beg, I'll grovel, if that's what it takes. Without Cam, I have nothing left. I can't go home, and I won't go to Jackson Courtland. All I've ever wanted is to be with Cam.

"I'm going home tonight," he says gently. "And I think you should come too."

"I can't go back unless I agree to be with that prick."

"I know."

"Then why the hell are you saying something like that?"

"Because maybe this is what we have to do."

"I can't believe it." I push him gently away from me and take a step back, wrapping my arms around myself. "You told me that we were going to run, and so I ran. You don't get to tell me that we were wrong."

"I don't know what's wrong or right anymore, Layla!" I'm surprised when he snaps at me, and his jaw is tight as he runs a hand over his face. "This isn't about us anymore. It's about my family. If something happened to Amy or Alina, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Nothing will happen to them!"

"Dammit Layla, you just don't know that! What would you say to me if Alina died tomorrow? You'd tell me that bad things can pile on top of each other but that doesn't mean there's a curse. There's no body count that's going to convince you that we fucked up."