Red Moon Rising

31. help

Chapter Song: Up To No Good - The Hoosiers

XX

Fuck those trappers, and fuck Isaac. I'm standing in the middle of my room, door barricaded by a dresser, prowling the length of the floor as a wolf. And my right foreleg aches like nothing else, sending twists of pain into my chest when I spring forward and test out its strength. It had felt mostly healed when I was in my human form, but now that it needs to bear weight it's practically useless. I think when Isaac grabbed my right arm like he did, he knew exactly what he was doing.

I hadn't planned to leave this place in wolf form; I'll need clothes and food if I'm ever going to survive. Or return to Rust Cove. Homesickness sits like needles in my stomach. Maybe it doesn't matter that I don't have control over my future; maybe it would be enough to be able to see home again, even if it meant being with Jackson Courtland. I would only have to be with him in appearance—the elders never mentioned anything about loving or procreating with our match. I can live out a loveless life by Jackson's side. I just want dad and Tasha again, that's all.

But with my arm fucked as it is, I won't be able to use my wolf form if I really need it. At least, it won't lend me any advantage for speed. I crouch again and feel the ache of my muscles followed by a deep, sharp stab. Collapsing onto the floor, I shift back into human form and try to smother the groan of pain that leaves my mouth. I'm not doing myself any favors by pushing my limits right now.

I dress in the warmest clothes I can find, practically layering every item of clothing in this room. It isn't much, a couple long-sleeve shirts, one of Isaac's hoodies, and a pair of tattered jeans, but it's all that I have. I slip on two layers of socks inside my boots and hope that it will be enough to keep out the damp before my toes freeze off. The early morning dark still closes in outside my window, but through the occasional floodlight pinned to the top of the school walls, I catch the flurries of snow that drift in tight to the structure. Fresh snow will leave tracks, but falling snow will cover both my footprints and my scent. Maybe that'll help me enough that I won't care so much when it leaves me soaking wet in below-freezing temperatures.

As I slowly pull the dresser away from the door, I pray that my paranoia is unfounded, a symptom of my newfound fear of the man I'd come to trust over the past two months. Despite everything he's done, despite everything he's proven himself to be, it still makes my heart twist painfully when I open the door to leave him forever. I wanted him to be something that he isn't, and I got burned. I gave everything to him, and he took it.

The halls are quiet this early in the morning; Max will have taken several wolves to patrol during the night, and it isn't time for Reiner and his guard to take the next shift. It's one of the few times when the school sits totally silent, and it will be the only time for me to slip away unnoticed. I don't look when I pass Isaac's room, feeling sick enough at the memory of my last time in it. No, there's no doubt in my mind that there is something very wrong with Isaac, despite the way he could make me feel, despite how he once offered me precious safety.

The kitchen beyond the cafeteria is drenched in blackness, a windowless extension leading to the pantry. But I know my way around it well enough to feel for the larder door and slip inside. I empty a burlap sack with a few russet potatoes onto the floor and fill it with enough food to last for two days. Snatching an empty water bottle, I figure I can fill it with snow or find water later; I don't want to carry more weight than necessary. I wish I could rely on my leg to hunt, but after my encounter with the trappers I don't dare travel as a wolf unless it's as a last resort.

When the light in the room beyond flicks on, I feel my heart drop to my stomach. I nearly lose hold of the bag, but I clutch it closer to my chest and look to where Sam is staring blankly at me from the other end of the kitchen.