"I was always overshadowed by the success of my sisters who were favouritised by the whole family, especially by my mother. Whatever I made was never so good, as it would be if one of them has done. I learnt to live successfully without anyone's app...
"Mommy you should marry Osman. He gave you beautiful necklace and is dear to me and he could learn me horse riding then," Kaya said and I didn't know if I would smile at that moment because I knew my children would accept him, or cry because I knew he is forbidden to me and Suleiman would never accept that.
As it was already late I put Kaya and Mahmud to sleep while I returned back to living room where I was together with Fehime. At this moment I really wished Osman was somewhere around and I couldn't accept myself the fact that Suleiman would prohibit me from seeing him even though we have done nothing wrong. I fell in love with that man so quickly and so quickly they separated me from him even though they all knew I loved him.
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"Sultanim, if you want to write something to Osman Pasha or see him, we can always do that through Gulcemal. She is in Topkapi and can send him whatever you want," Fehime said as also she already knew how much I love him even though I didn't even say to her.
"Is it so obvious I love him?" I asked her and she just smiled at my words.
"Yes, I knew it from the first moment. You have never been so happy like in those moments you were with him. And Osman Pasha loves you also a lot, you see also Kaya Sultan loves him so much," Fehime said and at that moment I could wish nothing other than to see Osman.
"When Hatice was in this situation and fell in love with Ibrahim, Suleiman did everything to marry them. I don't know why he forbids me now from doing it," I said as I lived in injustice just because I am not the favourite child or sister.
"Because you Sultana always stood up against them. Hatice Sultana always listened to their orders and she never fought with them, while you did. I think Sultan will allow you only when he sees how much you want to do that, because you were also happy with Namik Pasha not knowing what he is doing, you change your opinion quickly," Fehime said and everything she said was truth.
When they decided to marry me to Namik I was devastated because I didn't want to marry but as soon as I met him I fell in love with him. Fehime also feared what if I marry Osman and then regret but I knew I couldn't regret because he is not like Namik.
"You think I would regret if I marry Osman?" I asked her.
"No, you wouldn't. Because you both love eachother very much, and Osman Pasha is nothing compared to Namik Pasha. When he said to you he was ready to get rid of any titles and positions, you should have gone somewhere far away with him where no one could have found you," Fehime said.
Topkapi "Suleiman, will you punish Osman?" Valide asked Suleiman when she entered his chambers. Two of them never gave any decision before consolidation with eachother.
Valide never liked Osman because she was sure he destroyed the relationship between Namik and Fahriye. She always favouritised Namik, and even when she found out the real truth she still couldn't find to say anything positive about Osman.
